By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 156
You deserved it 5 192

BabyG2222 tells us more.

OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.

Top comments

saIty 17

Interesting, but do you know whats worse? Having your boyfriend wipe his cum on your forehead and whispering "Simba".

I've never heard the term "spank the ferret." I thought he spanked a ferret and it sprayed the girl.

Comments

Now there's a phrase I've never heard used before. Just be glad he didn't spank a real ferret, then there would be blood all over the bed...

wubbazugg 5

Spanking the ferret.... Spraying..... That's new o.0

ThisIsMe_18 13

haha, this is so funny & messed up.

reckless_blonde 5
enormouselephant 15

Well it's sticky enough, damn. My first comment was sucky, sorry:)

ImYoursAlways 3

I've heard of spanking the monkey, but I've never heard of spanking the ferret. At first I thought there was an actual ferret in the bed.

I'd be upset. Only because a star wars or even super mario theme would have been much more amusing. Ask him if he takes requests so next time he at least hums something that will amuse you.

That's both awkwardly scaring and hilarious at the same time. Bahaha. Sorry, Hun.