Animals: Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying...

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 6 879

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 403

You deserved it 12 871

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 3 110

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 3 101

Thanksssss

By Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 622

By olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 720

You deserved it 8 065

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 45 480

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 6 327

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 616

You deserved it 3 736

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 3 059

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 037

You deserved it 4 691

xthetisx 0

Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart

roseydot 0

Monday 28 March 2011 23:15

Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL

Comments

Mr_X100 1

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:24

oh nooooooooo

tommono4 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:26

funny that while a snake is loose in your house you managed to find time to post an FML about it

Guy_Smily 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:26

gee I hope it wasn't pregnant and is laying baby snakes all over your house <weg> bwahahaha....

mariet_fml 23

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:27

You should probably call animal control. It is apparently not poisonous, but they still need to be informed.

EatnBeef 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:27

well he's a dumbass if he bought a poisonous snake. but I sawed what you did there

EatnBeef 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:29

well he's a dumbass if he bought a poisonous snake. but I sawed what you did thereooi

sykokitti 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:31

lmao, hes an idiot

bstha_fml 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:35

dumbass

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:38

You pick idiots to date.

ZeroTheHero 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:42

that really sucks! I'm scared of em too lol

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 933

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 960

You deserved it 4 355

Today, I made my school's soccer team. I told the coach that since I have diabetes, I might need to sit out occasionally. He promptly erased my name and said he didn't accept "slackers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 238

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 032

You deserved it 7 842

Today, the only woman in my life who has been honest with me and will give me a straight answer is iPhone’s Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 208

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 363

You deserved it 3 566

Today, I was informed that I had to repeat a freshman course that I aced because of a glitch in the system. I'm a senior now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 627

You deserved it 191