I can just imagine: "If you blow me now, I'll give you not one, but TWO orgasms! And I'll even throw in free foreplay. Act now because this offer won't last!" But really, a sense of humor (even about sex) is a good thing. Take it from a guy who's been with his partner for 13 years.

Lmao at this :)

"But you gotta cum now 'cause I ain't got all day." (Shamwow guy)

Just shut him up, every time he talks for he can take a hint. If it bothers you that much. Make out with him while he's talking, or do some other distracting things.

Ask what the return policy is if you're not completely satisfied.

I don't see what the problem is, this is just awesome. OP, the only way your life could get better from this point would be if your boyfriend was Billy Dee Williams.

That actually sounds like fun. Get the stick out of your ass, or is that your bfs penis?

Give that man a reward!!

Did you act now?

That is so awesome! YDI for being plain Jane, he's just having fun.