Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all...

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 067

You deserved it 5 900

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Same thing different taste

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 25 777

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 305

You deserved it 4 636

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 473

You deserved it 495 636

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 470

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 785

You deserved it 7 879

Spit or Swallow?

By buymeflavoredlube - 05/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 747

You deserved it 974

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 114

You deserved it 3 500

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 318

hellokat1 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 9:09

Fire crotch!

Danniiboii22 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 9:12

nice way to "spice" up the sex lol :D

Comments

thirdbase1733 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 21:34

pics or it didn't happen

purplemnm 9

Saturday 4 December 2010 21:37

Don't put Tabasco sauce on your area to see if this FML is true. I had to learn the hard way...

Lilmama2Uchickz 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 21:40

.ouch

123e3 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 22:07

ew you nasty *****

batgirlGordon 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 22:51

dude u look like ur 10

lizyray 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 0:34

oh god! that bites

KamilleBlack 3

Sunday 5 December 2010 1:12

....OWW!

notsoluckypup 12

Sunday 5 December 2010 1:24

O.o

sugarr0babby0 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 1:53

88 - that's disgusting...

MoniV6661 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 7:48

88: That's genius!

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Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

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You deserved it 2 708

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You deserved it 8 079

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 280

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I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 296

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I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 477

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I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 3 344

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 474

You deserved it 2 195

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 866

You deserved it 7 700