Intimacy: Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one...

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By lonely - 23/08/2011 16:49 - United States

Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 7 352

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Same thing different taste

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 514

You deserved it 12 751

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 48 806

Pet detective

By badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 642

You deserved it 20 678

By princessbbee - 18/08/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 789

You deserved it 7 143

Yummy

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 23:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 366

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 162

You deserved it 5 509

Or he's a drug mule?

By jlujan00 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 510

You deserved it 3 059

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 042

You deserved it 4 106

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 20:00

Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 777

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 500

You deserved it 307

TheRealBruce 12

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:08

Well at least the pussy Is using it oh I'm sorry I'm nasty

OhDarrenCriss 6

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:05

You might want to try to hide them better!

Comments

8sq 13

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:13

At least they're having a good time.

LuhDemDinosaurz 6

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:13

At least they went to a worthy cause.

Sweej 1

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:15

These types of wording on FML's are getting boring...

Caitlin_atzeni_fml 0

Thursday 25 August 2011 14:43

then don't read them.

sheenie942 3

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:15

You're probly not getting any because you own cats!

g_willikers24 17

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:52

My thoughts exactly

CryMoreFMLs 14

Wednesday 24 August 2011 3:11

That explains my problem then. Too bad I'll never get rid of them though. They cost less to keep happy and are generally more willing to listen to me then any girl I know.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Friday 26 August 2011 8:27

hrmm... cats never stopped me getting any... and I have both live cats and cats skulls. :p *points to profile* long as your pussy is clean.... ;)

supimnyancat 9

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:15

Looks like your ******* are putting the condoms to use.

old09 11

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:17

wow......my cat just likes to use my bed as a bathroom...but yours want you to either have a child or chip out for the abortion.....oh and MEAOW I WANT CONDOMS NOMNOMNOM