Love: Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 949

You deserved it 99 330

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Same thing different taste

Waiting for that special someone

By foreveralone - 10/07/2020 17:04

Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 237

By Brook - 26/02/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 464

You deserved it 3 830

Relatable, unfortunately

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 182

By likesboys - 19/05/2010 12:00 - Canada

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 957

You deserved it 4 975

By uhoh.. - 22/03/2015 19:51 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 3 015

By okeythen - 30/06/2013 05:03 - United States - Orlando

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 301

You deserved it 3 952

The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 037

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 048

You deserved it 1 962

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 05:54 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 347

You deserved it 11 267

By Just_do_it_17 - 09/05/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 020

You deserved it 8 071

lovelikewoe 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:27

well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.

cheesenuggrt 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:27

YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.

Comments

Friaza 29

Sunday 24 July 2011 22:34

That's what you get for lieing :D YDI

JodeMiVida 13

Monday 25 July 2011 1:03

YDI OP. I'm a girl, and it REALLY isn't a turn on when you know a guy has been everywhere.

mutinykitty 18

Monday 25 July 2011 1:55

YDI stupid

iamdutch 5

Monday 25 July 2011 2:16

Thats just sad man... Dont pretend something your not

ZackBassist3 0

Monday 25 July 2011 3:05

its like the guy version of Easy A.

ldccool 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:06

you deserve it dont be a fraud

alliwannadoishav 0

Monday 25 July 2011 9:27

LMAOOOOO that's the best FML I've ever heard! You so deserve this.

Jacoblv17 0

Monday 25 July 2011 10:06

YDI dumbass!!! xD

zhightower 3

Monday 25 July 2011 12:01

i don't know why there is an (I agree, your life sucks) for this FML because you totally deserve this.

Coolbreezer 0

Monday 25 July 2011 13:52

dude come clean to the first one you can talk into comin home with u. oh and tell the ones after the same.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 856

You deserved it 7 517

The Top

Today, I found out the sole reason my son insisted on buying the house he did is because he was told on the grapevine that one of his new neighbours is a hot 20-something who never closes her curtains to undress at night. I raised a perverted idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 293

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 483

You deserved it 12 198

Today, after spending two days spiraling out of control with my thoughts and online searches over my husband not being attracted to me, and our marriage being over, I realized it was just the week before my period insanity. I get to know I'm gonna bleed when the intrusive thoughts start to win. Being a woman is so fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 186

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 658

You deserved it 4 110

Today, like any other day for a year, I'm 17 years-old. Today, like any other day, I have my hair styled in a combover because I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 96

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received doesn't actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing my balance and slamming my injured toe into objects, and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 350

You deserved it 4 728

Same thing different taste

Waiting for that special someone

Relatable, unfortunately

The truth will set you free

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