Kids: Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in...

By Anonymous - 10/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 502

You deserved it 41 188

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Impossible relationship

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 16:30

Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 209

Epipen time!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 17:06 - Canada

Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 980

You deserved it 13 267

Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 805

Speak for yourself

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 1 656

By Anonymous - 22/06/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 142

By jellybean_94 - 15/08/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 434

You deserved it 7 372

By Murphy - 26/08/2018 03:30

Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 070

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 8 420

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 608

By babybambi - 29/12/2018 02:00

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 381

You deserved it 289

Big_Red_138 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:26

I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!

Darcon 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:26

Noob.

Comments

marley91 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:18

yeah that's the point where ever1 can see the damn silver spoon u were born with...it's all good there's nothing wrong with being spoiled

womanjesus 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:23

cereal*

goldenlocks22 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:29

who does a first grader have knowledge on cooking xD

SteelCladAngel 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 14:02

my kids will know how to cook at that age... supervised of course, but cooking is a fairly important life skill.

Zombieslayer1 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:32

Well she prolly grew up making thing out of an easy bake oven. Ramen Noodles are the way to go:)

livk_23 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:34

haha this made me laugh.

jorrrk 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:37

you fail at life

beeboyaxl 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:42

kudos to your cousin and fyl.

hottiebrunette 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:52

did you guys make a sandwich? that would make sense.

dinosluver13 1

Saturday 11 June 2011 3:54

you suck at life

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:00

I can make a mean box of KD.

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Instagram Social Media Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Technology Porn Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, accustomed to dealing with my old car's faulty accelerator, I pressed the pedal way too hard in my new car and crashed into a pillar, totaling the engine, and giving myself a concussion. I could still see the dealership down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 542

You deserved it 4 219

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 490

You deserved it 15 054

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 137

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 730

You deserved it 7 930

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 2 836

Today, after taking various trains to get to Marseille to see Bruce Springsteen in concert, whom I've been waiting about 30 years to see, I found out only a few hours before it was supposed to start that the gig had been cancelled due to The Boss having "vocal issues." I'd even spent 50€ on a t-shirt. I actually cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 117

Today, I called a jerk of a client who has anger issues. As he started yelling and losing his temper, I began recording the call. The phone exclaimed : "This call is now being recorded." He hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 182

Today, in the middle of an argument, my husband picked me up and sat me on our breakfast bar. I’m terrified of heights so getting down took me over 5 minutes because of how bad I was shaking. He left to meet his friends, who “don’t start arguments just because they’re bored.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 823