Work: Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys... - FML

By frmitalywithlove - 11/01/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 647

You deserved it 4 061

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Same thing different taste

By fucking teen cunts - 27/01/2013 21:59 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 109

You deserved it 2 518

By Anonymous - 30/09/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 26 251

By Baikal - 12/05/2013 04:09 - Singapore

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 020

You deserved it 3 630

No joking allowed

By TecheyTim - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Latham

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' prank on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 12 052

By lions214 - 11/01/2012 01:40 - United States

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 402

You deserved it 2 936

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 02:02

Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 150

By Dumped - 06/04/2017 14:00

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 364

By mini matthylde - 19/11/2015 09:57 - France - Nantes

Today, I'm 4ft9 "tall" and I always have trouble reaching things that are high up. It's my birthday, and I got three footstools as gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 219

You deserved it 3 004

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 455

It's always in the most obvious place

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 14:00

Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 188

Next

Top comments

SARSvirus79 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 9:14

So you're fun-sized? :-P Your coworker sounds like a douche.

AKskier1 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 9:08

in short too. it's all goods

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 11 January 2011 9:58

She's not asking how to get her keys back, people! The FML is about being made fun of for being short. I'm short too, just not that short. Damn!(:FYL

hahaLexinater 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:05

me-dude why you so tall? you-dude why you so short?

nicole317 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:16

awe thats terrible but funny! Just get him with good pay back! haha.

SoFreshAndYetDep 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:20

Does your temper match your height?

Jaykayfu 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:40

Hm, does the grass tickle your nutsack ?

unfortunate_13 5

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:50

since when do women have a nutsack?

Jaykayfu 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:54

Ok then--does the grass tickle your pussy ?

unfortunate_13 5

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:28

does your stupidity tickle your brain cells?

nokel11 7

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:35

haha!

Jaykayfu 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 7:50

First of all, I didn't know she was a woman . I don't bother reading many people's comments either . So sit back down child and enjoy the comment because it is totally unnecessary to correct a joke . Finally, who cares if she's female--she's still short and the joke can just comply to short people . Yes, all short people have nutsacks .

grandpaearthling 2

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:55

get the other members of the lollipop guild to help plan your revenge. I mean, like, how high are the shelves in that tree anyway. you can only stack cookies so high.

therealsuperman 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:58

don't get short with him, he's just having fun

Kyledude 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:11

Bad times. I'm 5'11 so I don't feel your pain :) just grab some ladders..

JanisEvans 10

Wednesday 12 January 2011 20:10

I actually find 5'11 pretty short for a dude... No offense.

melibear89 7

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:20

find a hot tall guy to get them down for you.

Yes_I_Own_It 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:23

that shit is funny

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 505

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 077

The Top

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 370

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 966

You deserved it 2 319

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 535

You deserved it 4 590

Today, I was teaching a class, but the kids were all talking and chattering. After three soapbox-style speeches about how, "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went, "Meow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 7 620

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 505

You deserved it 5 137

Today, my fiancé seriously used the war in Israel/Palestine to call off our engagement. We had different opinions, so he asked for the ring back and stormed out of our apartment. Turns out, he used this as a ticket out because he was seeing someone else and didn’t “wanna hurt my feelings” by confessing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 130