Miscellaneous: Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for...

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 549

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By awkward - 26/09/2016 21:31 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 020

You deserved it 1 375

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 162

Misunderstood

By Lonely - 24/07/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 579

You deserved it 9 469

Alexa, play "Let Down" by Radiohead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Central Islip

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 780

You deserved it 1 396

By dexter - 15/01/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 674

You deserved it 4 975

Switcheroo

By Saberwolf - 13/02/2011 21:14 - United States

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 946

You deserved it 3 120

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 105

By FriendsZone - 15/05/2012 20:44 - United States

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 556

You deserved it 2 643

You tried

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 05:01 - United States - Gilbert

Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 109

By anonymous001 - 08/01/2013 19:58 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 924

You deserved it 68 883

somesecretname 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 1:32

Or maybe he's not confident and was trying to get the response "hey, why not" because he dosen't think you'd go for someone like him ;)

Eternity_fml 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 1:27

Onion rings are good.

Comments

southpaw117 1

Thursday 9 July 2009 2:58

I hate it when my crush kisses her dog's mouth right in front of my face. It gives off the same vibe; unfortunately if I go for the kiss (because ultimately I still want to kiss her), I still get it as if she didn't just do that...

zachman3334 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:07

Wow. I suppose things that happen on TV can't happen in real life.

AlexZB 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:11

he probably likes girls who can spell onion correctly

russianredgirl 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:22

why did he take you out then? he is obviously a d-bag.

nattylight 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:24

btw kaleidoscope I'm a guy not a girl. you are an idiot. hate the game not the player. so next time try to find a better way to be a dick. epic fail to you

Atropos_fml 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:46

FYL because a guy doesn't like you? Wow, your life must be so terrible.

LegndNikko 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 3:59

What, you expect a kiss on the first time out? FYL because you didn't kiss him the first time you went out someplace with him? Wow...

delly_fml 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 4:00

Ouch

allylalala 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 4:04

lol i know i'm being a little optimistic but maybe he was trying to show you that he's a gentleman and doesn't want to kiss you on the first date to give the wrong impression?:P