Intimacy: Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By nothingdoes - 27/10/2010 17:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 970

You deserved it 3 015

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 701

You deserved it 3 731

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 845

You deserved it 3 844

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Spicy

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 860

You deserved it 3 108

By TLT - 16/11/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 486

You deserved it 5 852

Nice to know

By rejectedson - 15/10/2009 23:23 - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 674

You deserved it 2 258

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 1 163

By anon - 31/03/2014 22:10 - United States - Chappaqua

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 217

You deserved it 5 790

By HylianFox - 27/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 3 072

Curious

By Ghostrui - 15/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 176

Recognize this?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 455

You deserved it 19 796

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:17

A woman from North Carolina Strung catgut across her ****** With proper-sized cocks Her **** would play Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Mina There are a few rhymes for you.

seymourlilly17 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:10

is her name Regina...

Comments

yummycupcakegirl 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:20

Your mom's very lucky.....

1kings67 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:21

north Carolina, Calvin Klein kind of-bloodhound gang

torirules 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:58

china

guillaume193 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:08

dear wife, I miss your ******, oh how I wish I could just be inside-ya.. ... right now ;)

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:19

Angina.

buggybeauty 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:56

quite possibly the best FML ever!

SaRah_In_LoVe 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 4:15

wow, awkward. But tell him to think of another word for ****** that would be easier to rhyme.

sucks4u918 4

Thursday 28 October 2010 4:17

Haha

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:09

Nothing could be finer than to cum in your ****** in the moooorrrning.

luckymagruder 4

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:48

Sounds like a job for the Bloodhound Gang. Hooray!!!

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Liar Parents Cars Kids Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Neighbours Movies Annoying Family Miscellaneous Awkward Argument Creepy Love Technology Insulting Embarrassing Friends Weddings Gross Sex Poopoo peepee Intimacy Mysterious Pranks Transportation My ex Funerals

The Top

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 925

You deserved it 3 914

Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent four years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the four hour ceremony is "too long." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 502

You deserved it 4 615

The Top

Today, my two cats, who I'm slowly easing into being together, seem to like the fight they had yesterday. My older cat goes to my new cat's room to mew until I open the door, then lunges at my new cat, and my new cat goes to the barrier until he sees my old cat, and they start their shenanigans again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 214

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 758

You deserved it 20 433

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 116

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 284

You deserved it 4 462

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 959

You deserved it 4 804

Today, I got a letter from my old bank saying I owe them over 400 dollars. I closed the account 3 months ago, or at least I thought I did. The teller never finished closing it and I've been getting hammered with maintenance fees and overdrafts on an account I didn't even want anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 826

You deserved it 986