Sex and Love: Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told...

By Sandra - 18/02/2009 14:15 - Ireland

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 739

You deserved it 20 422

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 711

You deserved it 11 940

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 450

You deserved it 38 898

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 3 270

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 503

You deserved it 5 016

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 331

You deserved it 2 302

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 866

You deserved it 15 889

By Idontdance - 23/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 196

You deserved it 4 482

By Lisa - 11/12/2018 04:00 - Romania

Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 915

You deserved it 1 424

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 41 902

A tale as old as time

By I'm_Not_Interested - 06/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 219

You deserved it 2 899

djdeathwish 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:06

When's your next party?!

StayClassy 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:09

So how was he?

Comments

MozReference 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 17:25

it sounds like the person he was looking for is his only hope.

djdeathwish 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:06

When's your next party?!

joshwa95 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 23:51

haha. nice(:

StayClassy 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:09

So how was he?

vno_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:02

@#9: l2read. she "got talking to" not "got to talk to". very different.

runmymouth 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:20

DAMN. I hate rumors. -_-

Unsuprised 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:28

Did you tap them?

sillypun 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:49

class.... sheeeer class.

cheerloveyou 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:58

ha . what are you ? 40 ?! eww !

MrPlopper 9

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:35

bitch you're 14 stfu!

fmlismymodo 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 20:46

hahaha oh daum... that's gotta suck having a rep like that. You still slept with him.. right? And you still throw parties? tiskk tiskkk

midnyte 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:52

Split the winnings.

ohgeez 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:57

Well find out who he's friends with and now you know who thinks you're a *****. Sucks.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 1 216

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 108

You deserved it 5 886

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 224

You deserved it 21 361

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 799

You deserved it 17 173

Today, my boyfriend and I are still fighting over the fact I haven't told my overprotective, bipolar, narcissist father about us, after a month together. Neither of us wants to break up, but we can't come to a compromise either. Dating is hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 311

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 772

You deserved it 6 969

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 991

You deserved it 10 501

Same thing different taste

Misleading

A tale as old as time

Top comments

Comments