Miscellaneous: Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience...

By Experience - 05/02/2013 20:19 - United States - Waynesfield

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 011

You deserved it 3 590

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Same thing different taste

Bad omen

By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 4 957

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 527

You deserved it 3 367

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 30 390

Reunited

By naladetet - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Newark

Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 033

You deserved it 4 470

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 1 513

By 2ndgenoration - 17/05/2014 21:56 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 664

You deserved it 4 209

By Anonymous - 23/06/2014 19:52 - United States

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 699

You deserved it 6 042

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 729

You deserved it 5 789

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 7 053

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

iamabamf 17

Wednesday 6 February 2013 0:10

Could be worse. My dad just calls me "The Little Bitch."

MrClean17 15

Wednesday 6 February 2013 0:11

I chuckled when I saw your username OP. It seems you've accepted your fate

Comments

Happyhighs1 3

Wednesday 6 February 2013 1:14

I think everyones parents have some ****** up name for their kid lol. Guess it builds character or somethin. Mine is eather WHAT THE ****, AW HELL WHAT NOW, or DAMN IT depending on the day =)

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 6 February 2013 4:54

"But dad, I'm Jesus Christ."

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 6 February 2013 10:15

Reminds me of a skit? by Bill Cosby called "my father confused me"

ulissey_fml 22

Wednesday 6 February 2013 1:18

Oh well, that 's the way life crumbles down, cookie-wise.

hienzburgess 9

Wednesday 6 February 2013 1:22

call children's aid and tell them to take your parents away for verbal abuse

hopsinlove17 26

Wednesday 6 February 2013 1:55

Chill.

LarryLaDouche 13

Wednesday 6 February 2013 4:43

Somebody's got their panties in a wad.

chungyiubear 10

Wednesday 6 February 2013 1:42

My dad calls me fat ass, it is okay.

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 6 February 2013 4:52

Your daddy may need a new prescription.

zandalee 19

Wednesday 6 February 2013 7:21

Or a kick up his arse ;)

chungyiubear 10

Saturday 9 February 2013 2:17

haha I guess, I weigh 90 pounds and I am 5'4...

lininnes 6

Wednesday 6 February 2013 2:26

what's a "Chinese fortune cookie"??..

Lorysa 11

Wednesday 6 February 2013 3:06

Haven't you heard? Chinese fortune cookies are more affordable than American fortune cookies, but they're cheaply made. I've never had one that didn't break as soon as I got my hands on it! ;)