Kids: Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born,...

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 422

You deserved it 3 137

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Same thing different taste

By davidh5012 - 27/11/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 522

You deserved it 2 894

By TMI - 04/06/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 21:29 - United States - Toledo

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 3 897

Selfish

By Anonymous - 31/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 998

You deserved it 478

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 18:18 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 60 501

You deserved it 3 993

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 494

You deserved it 3 967

Mystery

By Anonymous - 17/07/2016 14:51 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 812

You deserved it 1 981

By Star_Wars_Lover - 26/04/2016 15:34 - United States - Dallas

Today, my husband got a vasectomy. My mother-in-law is extremely upset that he only gave her one grandson. Guess my other son doesn't count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 775

You deserved it 1 665

By Totallyscrewed - 10/02/2013 05:17 - United States - Stroudsburg

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 534

You deserved it 3 665

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 23:00 - Canada

Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 147

chickenwalrus 14

Friday 12 August 2011 18:49

"Lucky Sperm" haha good name

seeunexttuesdays 6

Friday 12 August 2011 18:49

Accidents don't normally happen that way o.o you're a unique accident! :D

Comments

sandybaybe 3

Friday 12 August 2011 19:47

God wanted you born.. :)

heresjuju 2

Friday 12 August 2011 19:50

You can butch slap his dick with a brick. No more kids for him and look what you got to do.

ih82bl8 2

Friday 12 August 2011 19:56

0ooh... Well I'm sure he loves you anyway

pfx2_fml 15

Friday 12 August 2011 19:58

Dude, you must of been a super sperm

pfx2_fml 15

Friday 12 August 2011 20:03

Dude, you must of been a super sperm

websmith 0

Friday 12 August 2011 20:05

That's a great thing... Celebrate your life!

Tablesalt 2

Friday 12 August 2011 20:05

Exact same story for me!! :/ fml

burningpassion69 6

Friday 12 August 2011 20:05

your mom cheated on him

fadingfaith 4

Friday 12 August 2011 20:08

At least you here.

theman6955 0

Friday 12 August 2011 20:10

Maybe your mom just cheated

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Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 243

You deserved it 9 095

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 066

You deserved it 4 426

Today, I got fired from my job as a babysitter because the movie I showed the kids was "too violent and gave them nightmares." What movie was it? Mary Poppins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 92

Today, a man came by with a large drink and sat next to me in the bus terminal. In all his wisdom, he tried setting it between the seats. Naturally, it spilled all over me. I now have to sit with a soaked pair of pants and a wet carry on from Nashville to Atlanta. The bus trip is 5 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 064

You deserved it 1 194

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 933

You deserved it 4 181

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 089

You deserved it 7 767

Same thing different taste

Selfish

Mystery

Yeet it

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