Kids: Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except...

By ugh - 09/01/2013 01:01 - United States - Saint Clair Shores

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 773

You deserved it 3 226

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Same thing different taste

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 201

You gotta learn

By duh - 27/01/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 297

You deserved it 26 895

Stop that now

By Soo - 24/12/2020 08:04 - Spain - Archidona

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 266

She's 28

By beelover97 - 28/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 144

By mintypoison - 14/11/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 879

You deserved it 3 481

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

By lorena_v - 10/11/2017 05:00

Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 352

You deserved it 3 849

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 14 448

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 862

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 6 062

adameeo 21

Wednesday 9 January 2013 9:11

Even better than the original!

jojimugo 20

Wednesday 9 January 2013 9:15

Those godamm BItchy spiders

Comments

Bebbo_fml 21

Thursday 30 January 2014 1:39

You would be bitchy if you were itchy too.

Croone 10

Thursday 17 April 2014 8:26

So much win :')

EthanTheStrange 4

Wednesday 7 May 2014 8:53

omg amazing

SnakeJava01 5

Friday 8 May 2015 8:43

I'm amazed that I have yet to find a single Homestuck in the comments. We all know who this version of the song is REALLY a8out. :::;)

michelle909 10

Saturday 9 January 2016 16:58

Sounds like the teacher has the right idea about spiders! Teach them early on about those itchy bitchy spiders lol

Emyka 26

Monday 29 February 2016 15:31

I work at a daycare and a couple of years ago we sang a song with the kids, I don't remember the exact words but something along the lines of "knock knock knock". Couple of days later one of the mums came up to us and asked why her kid is singing "**** **** ****". ****.