Intimacy: Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay...

By maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 340

You deserved it 5 745

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 143

You deserved it 3 371

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 796

You deserved it 2 546

By the_lonely_life - 27/06/2013 01:02 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 168

You deserved it 7 049

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 20:00

Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 771

Oh no, please no

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 305

You deserved it 5 482

Busted

By wookieewhosshe - 19/06/2019 21:13

Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 722

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 660

You deserved it 20 289

Ewwwwww

By Faluna - 17/02/2011 21:27 - Sweden

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 344

You deserved it 4 223

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 661

You deserved it 44 724

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 58 641

barnmaster98 5

Saturday 19 May 2012 19:28

Atleast she's being safe

yumyumpoptart 16

Saturday 19 May 2012 19:30

better to see a mountain of condom boxes rather than a grandchild 9 months down the road.

Comments

dinosaur_rawr3 0

Monday 21 May 2012 5:04

At least she's having safe sex!

beastroish 0

Monday 21 May 2012 7:13

Hahaha that is hilarious and probably embarrassing for you both.

californialovin 5

Monday 21 May 2012 7:45

MOM!?

ghnatliker 0

Monday 21 May 2012 8:10

Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex, cos' you don't want that late text, that "I think I'm late .." text .

SAgirl 13

Monday 21 May 2012 13:39

I hope your daughter is over 18

RedCrow 0

Monday 21 May 2012 20:14

What does your Son have under his bed?

williamcarter93 13

Monday 21 May 2012 20:29

Mountains of boxes? How much did she have sex?

lumberjack610 1

Monday 21 May 2012 23:02

Does your daughter have a number?

sammyluvspugs 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 0:02

Awkwardd

GeeUnit 8

Wednesday 23 May 2012 0:12

This is why you shouldn't leave teenager alone ;D

Keywords

Animals Cats Embarrassing Miscellaneous Argument Party Neighbours Love Awkward Cute Romantic Stuck Roommate Clothes Relatable Shoes I need your advice Mental health Insurance Cars Transportation LGBTQIA+ Teenagers Weird Health Work Cheating Food Clumsy Dating

The Top

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 326

Today, I took my cat for a very short car ride in her new carrier. I’ve left it out for weeks to let her get used to it, and before this she was relaxed enough to nap in it. Now, she won’t go near it no matter how many treats I use. I move cross country in June. Back to the drawing board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 188

The Top

Today, I'm expecting an important delivery that I need so I don’t lose my job. My neighbors decided that today was a great day to have a team of landscapers come to cut down some trees. I'm in a tight cul de sac and they're blocking my driveway. Guess who’s gonna lose his job today? FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 145

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 773

You deserved it 3 603

Today, my mother told me that for a period when I was a baby, every night she stood over my crib with a bottle of bourbon and a gun, convincing herself not to shoot me for ruining her life by being born when she was only 18. I wish I could be more like my siblings, who don't visit her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 159

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 140

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 542

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 120