Kids: Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father...

By grrr1234 - 01/07/2012 16:00

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 676

You deserved it 6 311

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 707

You deserved it 3 166

By doughgirl101 - 07/09/2011 05:59 - Canada

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 2 392

By E…… - 02/03/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 353

You deserved it 8 494

By GoAggies - 21/06/2016 17:11 - United States - Herriman

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 019

You deserved it 2 501

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

By Lonely - 05/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 172

By Derps - 04/05/2011 09:11 - Denmark

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 485

You deserved it 39 402

By stepmom - 18/06/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 789

You deserved it 5 055

By devigsgirl - 26/08/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 840

You deserved it 5 964

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 034

You deserved it 4 181

By Xandriajoy10 - 04/01/2016 05:21 - Australia

Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 1 940

stepdracmos 0

Sunday 1 July 2012 20:03

Is there anything to value more in life than this?

Rommel1942 9

Sunday 1 July 2012 20:04

And so the gaming generation for girls keeps growing... :3

Comments

myndmelt 4

Monday 2 July 2012 15:49

Hah that is hilarious!

Sandman578737 0

Monday 2 July 2012 18:51

Logistics logistics. Logistics .......

Guachu95 5

Monday 2 July 2012 20:33

Three words : First world problems.

sarahogden25 2

Tuesday 3 July 2012 1:22

hahahah its because of tumblr.

talloctopus 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 10:36

Bitch. I hate people who are selfish like that.

geod69 8

Tuesday 3 July 2012 15:41

Yeah for the dad

legojud 5

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:34

I applaud your dsughter

NorthernLights96 5

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:50

I said the same thing to my mom... The computer obsessed think alike?

yolo20 0

Thursday 5 July 2012 23:05

Go get faster Internet connection, simple as that!!

moonpiglet 4

Monday 9 July 2012 0:10

That's priorities right there!

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 492

You deserved it 15 057

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 668

You deserved it 52 042

The Top

Today, I was teaching a friend to squat. While I was spotting him, he decided it would be a great idea to turn around. This wouldn't have been a problem, if he hadn't hit me in the face with the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 858

You deserved it 1 098

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 249

You deserved it 48 107

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 431

You deserved it 58 744

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 70

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 722

You deserved it 15 862

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 146

You deserved it 2 580

Same thing different taste

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Top comments

Comments