Animals: Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated... - FML

By MoreActionThanMe - 11/12/2012 00:04 - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 2 820

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Same thing different taste

Bad doggo

By Aaron - 07/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 816

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

Doggos 4 Life

By Jerry01 - 19/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 127

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 8 325

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 244

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 023

You deserved it 6 500

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 216

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 14:00

Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 03:30

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 151

You deserved it 2 927

Next

Top comments

MisterDoctor 12

Tuesday 11 December 2012 8:04

Looks like someone went to the closet and.. *puts on sunglasses*.. let the dogs out.

xy798 8

Tuesday 11 December 2012 8:04

Your dog came out to you. In the park. In front of other people. Sounds wonderful.

Comments

DivineSunshine 1

Thursday 13 December 2012 13:44

Was your dog on top?

katie1989 9

Friday 14 December 2012 1:49

I hate when people allow their dogs to hump others. If another dog goes to hump mine he'll growl. If they continue he'll grab them by the neck and shake them. He HATES being dominated by strange dogs, its rude dog behaviour.

LLCoyote 1

Thursday 20 December 2012 6:56

In the words of The Lonely Island and Lady Gaga, "It's ok, when it's in a three way"

Jenny143_fml 4

Thursday 10 January 2013 1:32

hilarious xD

emuexport 4

Tuesday 25 June 2013 3:57

It's Sparky the gay southpark dog !!!

magnetic_aura 26

Thursday 2 October 2014 0:30

Haha, my dog used to do that. He humped both male and female dogs (mostly males), but he only got "really excited" for the boys. I ended up apologizing to a lot of dog owners who had to wash their sticky dogs off after mine was done with them...

LyricaSilvan 29

Thursday 4 February 2016 15:18

I love how half the comments on this one are just people trying way too hard to make "dog" puns.

Sheepiebeepie 26

Saturday 23 April 2016 16:52

Are you that insecure in your sexuality that you can't handle your dog being a little gay?

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 4 284

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 833

You deserved it 6 528

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 445

You deserved it 91 602

Today, in the bus, my Gatorade bottle's badly screwed cap resulted in my Jello being ruined and yellow Gatorade poured all over myself, the seat, and the floor. It looks like I pissed myself, and I still have to go through a whole building where several of my colleagues live before making it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 257

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 153

You deserved it 3 118

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 410

You deserved it 2 634