Animals: Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and... - FML

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 554

You deserved it 40 830

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Same thing different taste

Mom hobbies

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, on a road trip my mom got out to walk her dog. Her jar of Marijuana fell out of the car and rolled across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 302

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 121

You deserved it 39 003

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 2 638

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 153

You deserved it 1 629

Nice friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 19:13 - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 596

You deserved it 2 797

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 557

You deserved it 6 703

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 228

Family portrait

By a816090 - 26/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 315

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 495

Next

Top comments

ChaosChild 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:38

Smart dog.

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

That dog is a narc

Comments

R0lling_St0ner 0

Friday 23 October 2009 4:09

dude that could be the best dog EVER all you need to do is get a pad of your own bring the dog and train him to get your pipe and bring it to you, that way when your to stoned to get up and move he can get it for you XD

guitarbeast 22

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:43

awesome, dude your like a genius

nwkegan 0

Monday 2 November 2009 14:57

More typical responses from ignorant proponents of illegalization. For the record, in moderation there is absolutely nothing wrong with recreational drug use. Consciousness-altering substances have been with humanity for thousands of years and they aren't going away anytime soon, nor should they. EDIT: Wasn't meant as a response to this particular poster. Oops.

MIXTAP3 0

Monday 23 November 2009 0:01

You don't "do weed," you smoke it.

ibanezman007 0

Friday 27 November 2009 7:14

Get a safe you idiot!!!!!!!

marycharles 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 12:53

good pup. don't smoke week dipshit

dontsmokecrack 1

Saturday 12 November 2011 17:58

Yea man, 'week' is so bad for you. 'Weed' on the other hand, is fucken great!

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:18

Your fault for smoking that nasty shit. I tried it once and the headache next day was NOT worth the high.

zenory 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 13:53

Ok. Pot is mind altering it's not that it has negative effects. it's what you do under the influence that makes it bad... Now I'm not saying drinking isn't the same... but neither is good for you

dioxyde420 0

Saturday 22 May 2010 22:23

If you got a headache a whole day after it was NOT pot. Even if you got a headache right away it wasn't pot. That sucks!

onexgun 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 8:01

you prolly just got some bad shit.. or REALLY good shit that you couldent handle cause it was your first time

ilovefatcats 12

Friday 19 February 2010 3:56

YDI for doing drugs **** u OP

bridgette5866 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 7:20

Michael Scott. Please, please get my reference to The Office.

TapeMan_3000 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 22:35

^ this

hannahjay 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 5:19

haha epic failure! :D that's what you get for doin drugs anywayy

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 2 046

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, my first client as a freelancer screamed at me and threw a notebook at my head. I quit my job to become a freelancer because my boss would often scream and throw things at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 448

You deserved it 599

Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 727

You deserved it 4 000

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal when I got a call, saying, "Your car was just hit by a tree!" I said, "Yeah, right!" and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walked in and told me that my car was totaled. I then went and stood in the rain to watch a tree get cut off my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 577

You deserved it 6 701

Today, I realized I forgot to cancel a free trial for a meditation app. So, ironically, I now owe $40 to an app that’s supposed to reduce stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 255

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 446

You deserved it 16 708

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 177

You deserved it 6 147