Animals: Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well,...

By stinky skunk - 05/09/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 698

You deserved it 6 194

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Same thing different taste

By The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 918

By Jayman223 - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Reno

Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 745

You deserved it 1 163

By RENThead - 13/09/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 865

You deserved it 1 606

By dBLIZZARD - 09/06/2015 18:39 - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 4 034

By Loveless - 05/06/2011 12:23 - Canada

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 525

You deserved it 8 211

By moosemay - 06/02/2016 11:42 - Germany - W?rzburg

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 228

You deserved it 2 082

Bad boy

By VtecKickIn - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 217

You deserved it 5 801

Smelly business

By skunkcat - 11/03/2020 21:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 1 738

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 216

Here boy!

By DrakeB - 20/01/2013 16:34 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 840

You deserved it 44 007

badbadman187 1

Monday 5 September 2011 11:48

that stinks

xx000o 27

Monday 5 September 2011 11:49

It could have been a Wolverine.

Comments

marpay 11

Monday 5 September 2011 12:20

Time to invest in mass qualities of tomato soup and salt scrubs. Then follow up with orange zest and you should smell almost normal.

tammy0312 6

Monday 5 September 2011 12:27

Omg, that really DOES suck! Well it will definitely be a story to tell to your grandkids :/

SirBedevere 0

Monday 5 September 2011 12:32

On the bright side, you made a new friend.

RainbowzSkittlez 6

Monday 5 September 2011 16:54

Or a new pet!!

wriptidez 0

Monday 5 September 2011 12:53

scary Are u ok?

falling4youxo 7

Monday 5 September 2011 13:10

Sounds like astinky situation

JPChiQYaya 0

Friday 9 September 2011 0:02

No. just.. no.

SirPlagueRat 6

Monday 5 September 2011 13:52

So did you find the dog?

K_kanaka 26

Monday 5 September 2011 14:28

Sooooo....got your dog back?

minnymouse20 13

Monday 5 September 2011 14:31

At least you didn't grab someones kid...

marpay 11

Monday 5 September 2011 15:01

No kidding! Kids and dogs look just alike! They are so easily confused. ..... Wait you mean they aren't? I'm shocked!

Tyger44 1

Monday 5 September 2011 15:03

This is like the best fml i have seen ...

EnEl_Infierno 15

Monday 5 September 2011 15:10

Then you sir have not been here long. & fyl for not finding this sooner.

elisabeth1_fml 0

Monday 5 September 2011 15:14

Was his name pepe by any chance lmao

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 300

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 562

The Top

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 136

You deserved it 2 164

Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 332

You deserved it 1 151

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 345

You deserved it 3 584

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 594

You deserved it 2 096

Today, my wife and I were going through a very amicable 50/50 divorce, until she found out I’m already dating. She’s only two years younger than my wife, but it upset her enough she’s now stalling the divorce until she gets 75/25 in her favour, including the holiday cottage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 1 881

Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 142