Intimacy: Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help...

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By thewhompingwillow - 01/09/2012 17:56 - United States - Springfield

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 11 956

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Same thing different taste

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard that she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 371

You deserved it 583

By Arden - 03/02/2019 20:00

Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 1 571

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 788

You deserved it 303

You wanker

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 310

You deserved it 87 329

Sixth sense

By fappy dog - 23/01/2014 21:06 - United States - Granite City

Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 625

You deserved it 11 278

By trainE - 30/03/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 352

You deserved it 94 607

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 741

You deserved it 8 326

By 420curse - 05/05/2015 18:20 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 15 189

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 83

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 466

COOL__Coal 12

Sunday 2 September 2012 1:06

I think you may be doing it wrong.

loserboii 11

Sunday 2 September 2012 1:07

So your seizures & masturbations look the relatively similiar I assume¿

Comments

WhatTheDuess 1

Sunday 2 September 2012 19:50

Wait why the f*** are you masterbating with your dog

sin_cupcakes 0

Monday 3 September 2012 21:57

That's what I'm saying! Yuck!

bryan788 29

Monday 3 September 2012 7:43

That shit is funny, next time lock or close the door or wait until people are sleeping

wikedjest 0

Monday 3 September 2012 8:10

Hahahaha that's funny

taurusxdee 10

Monday 3 September 2012 8:17

Aww it's not his fault=[

Here4theshow 17

Monday 3 September 2012 10:33

That most of been some fancy way of masturbating if the dog thought you were having a seizure!

jlperry31 10

Monday 3 September 2012 11:08

Probably senses ur heart beat

TheHigherCloud 8

Monday 3 September 2012 14:01

Pretty ******* sad... But LOLOL. What was your excuse for that one?

sin_cupcakes 0

Monday 3 September 2012 21:55

Yuck! Why are u Masterbating in front of you dog?!

ChuckMcNugget 1

Monday 3 September 2012 23:33

I dont always ways save FMLs but when i do its probably cause u ****** up badly or was hillarious

noisebox 1

Tuesday 4 September 2012 20:52

I guess he hates it when you jerk off then pet him later...with the same hand...

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