By shanxi - 23/05/2012 18:47 - United States

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 674
You deserved it 2 511
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Top comments

alstbv12 13

I swear my dogs aim for my balls when they jump...I think it's retribution for having their balls chopped off.

138 1
perdix 29

You shouldn't have trained it to fetch balls.

80 3

Comments

SkoomaKi 27

Is what what my eyes did when I saw your profile picture.

55 6
xoconnie 8

Nothing else to say but ouch! Feel better man

3 17
chabooty27 7

The dog just wanted a bone... If you know what I mean

13 25
22cute 17

Isn't this why you train your dog not to jump up on people? Doesn't that kinda make it a ydi for not teaching your dog good manners? I mean I feel for you, I do. Still, ydi.

0 0
22cute 17

Isn't this why you train your dog not to jump up on people? Doesn't that kinda make it a ydi for not teaching your dog good manners? I mean I feel for you, I do. Still, ydi.

7 42
violetsweety 26

Dogs usually jump on their owners out of excitement...

30 5
thiscrazything 1

33 I agree with you. It is not hard at all to teach a dog not to jump up. I hate it when you go to a friends house and their dog is not trained, they jump all over you and ruin your clothes, and can scratch you. A dog can be excited to see you, and obediently not jump up.

4 14
SuxForUButtmunch 2

33 actually yes you can train your dog not to jump on people, but many people train them so they don't jump on OTHERS. For example: my dog is very well trained and never jumps on anyone except my dad and me. We love him so much we don't mind that he shows us how much he loves us and missed us throughout the day.

10 2
22cute 17

Training dogs is actually kinder than letting them do what comes naturally. An untrained dog is a bored dog. They like learning new things and having that time when you interact with them. And when they behave well more people are happy to see them. Basically, all the same reasons you should teach kids good manners. It's a kindness to the child.

2 2
therealslim 15

Would it not have been far easier to just click 'I agree, your life sucks'? Or are you one of those wanna-be first commenter bastards?

16 21
peoplearestupido 0

uhh wouldnt it have been better if.you just thumbed down #2's comment instead of bitching at #2? why do you have to be a dick.

43 8
ALlamaOnFire 20

Really? You're not really contributing much either. I know, neither am I but whatever, I dislike hypocrites.

8 14
ICastillo 24

All you guys should just fight and end this feud.

13 3
27BronxBombers 12

A fight to the death obviously

20 1
Eiregal2 10

won't someone please think of the children!! THE CHHHHIIILLLDDDRREEEN!!!

22 3
brianfantana32 10

Shake your dicks, this pissing contest is over

3 1
Ch0sen 13

No it was only trying to give OP a high five for the successful operation! They were innocent intentions that unfortunately landed on the highest spot its paws could reach!

5 1
HannahLouise96 13

I feel like thumbing down simply because of your profile picture.....

11 2
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Where's the cute little seal that shouts " GAAAAAY"? We need him.

7 1
sillycart 9

Honestly u think it bothers us when I call them gay. We totally agree. And idc if u don't like them. More for me! ;)

2 9
SkoomaKi 27

#55 - You do realize you are a sad pathetic girl who has been subjected to a "band" which has been specifically targeted at young insecure girls? While you gargle the shit they spew out, real music is dying. Rant over.

11 3
snnoell_18 1

6- i would have said something about your comment, but i took it back after i saw that you mentioned avatar the last airbender/legend of korra in your bio.

1 1
sillycart 9

72- is that good or bad...?

1 2
sillycart 9

71- just to let you know their songs are real music cuz they can sing without being auto tuned and they don't lipsync. Unlike a lot of music.

2 4
SkoomaKi 27

#84 - Music requires talent. None of the one direction "boys" can play instruments and it is very likely they're auto tuned too.

2 2
sillycart 9

86- they were on the xfactor and came in 3rd. Without auto tune. And they can all play the guitar.

2 0
alstbv12 13

I swear my dogs aim for my balls when they jump...I think it's retribution for having their balls chopped off.

138 1
igive 29

an eye for an eye, or in this case balls for balls

6 0
trucker67 10

Sorry but Im laughing so hard I can't think of anything witty to say :)

5 35
queen_awks 16

So just don't say anything at all?

29 2
SkoomaKi 27

#62 - Don't be silly, that would be logical.

26 2
rainbowglass 5

What is the meaning of this "logical"?

3 0
loserman67 35

That is the mandate of every dog regardless of gender. When they get near the lap of a human male, they MUST make every attempt to walk on, step on or jump on your nuts and or dick.

23 6
zooey08 1

Well of course. It's even written down in the 10 commandments. Right? No? Oh never mind...

3 6
JRFaceless 8

This would be a better story if you didn't keep changing tenses.

2 46
ICastillo 24

I don't know if you noticed but there is a herpe on your tongue?

35 1
olpally 32

Tell that to someone who cares... As for op, that really does suck balls.. Lmao

4 4
Opheliac73 8

Where does OP change tenses?

14 2
KeyboardWarrior 10

The FML was edited, but the mods (assuming they corrected it) decided to leave her comment up to make her look like a fool. A fool!

15 1
hockeyoceancity 13

Ahhh! I just squirmed in my seat, ow man you must have made this FML 1 hour after it happened after you woke up from passing out from the pain. Don't punish your dog though! he just missed you. Dog is man's best friend!

18 4
apintsizepeanut_fml 4

Balls make women too! There would be no babies otherwise.

0 1