Intimacy: Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering... - FML

By nazirah4shizzle - 15/05/2015 19:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 418

You deserved it 3 490

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Eva - 13/02/2011 09:32 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 289

You deserved it 6 593

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 1 130

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Spicy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 5 090

By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Spicy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 805

You deserved it 40 500

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 011

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 883

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 850

You deserved it 413

By pocketrocket90 - 08/08/2014 06:05 - Australia - Capalaba

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 429

You deserved it 5 342

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 142

You deserved it 10 356

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 5 951

Next

Top comments

never_alone 10

Saturday 16 May 2015 9:01

how did he not notice the string? and how did you not wake up in time to stop him? you must be a heavy sleeper

wondermoose 28

Saturday 16 May 2015 9:02

did he not realize that right away or?....

Comments

paula1066 1

Monday 18 May 2015 0:24

That's disgusting, who would share that story

A_Net_70 7

Monday 18 May 2015 3:11

How the heck did you sleep through that and let him?!!

erriiinn 9

Monday 18 May 2015 12:47

You arent meant to sleep in them..

RayRey009 5

Monday 18 May 2015 22:04

What a brute.

danihammer 4

Tuesday 19 May 2015 21:52

I had an ex ( ex for obvious reasons ) who would pull that kind of crap. It annoyed the living hell out of me because he would come onto me when I wasn't in the mood. When boyfriends and husbands try to do things like that constantly, it can take the magic and fun out of sex and drive their partners away.

RockRoyalty92 12

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:22

Why would you go to the ER? You know you can just reach in and grab it... The ****** is very shallow and it's impossible for anything to get pushed so far that you can't reach it.

Hop6e 22

Tuesday 26 May 2015 3:55

How did you not notice that?! Dude!! I'd be screaming!! I am so freaking sorry.

kertokeeta 8

Thursday 28 May 2015 20:37

your boyfriend is a bitch. I would've been pounding that tampon in with my dick!

Emmers__27 7

Saturday 30 May 2015 12:41

Sleeping in the same bed and/or being in a relationship does not give automatic consent. And if they're asleep they can't give consent. What happened to OP is completely inappropriate and not ok, not to mention illegal. Hope you're ok OP.

ultraviolet26 0

Saturday 6 June 2015 5:34

I've had the same situation of sorts, me and my boyfriend had gotten really in Hot and heavy when he suddenly decided to to of my underware and enter my swiftly...he made me wait till he finished, to let me attempt to get it out. It took me twenty minute and our kitchen tongs to get it out.

3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Am I overreacting? Love Social Media AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 087

You deserved it 2 489

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 39 719

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 210

Today, I overheard this girl I don't really know say that she had cramps. Trying to be helpful, I turned round and told her she should stretch out where she had them. She then asked how the fuck she was supposed to stretch her ovaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 2 747

Today, I asked my 'friend with benefits' if she'd consider actually dating me regularly. She said yes, but only if I joined the Republican Party, because she "would never date anyone who didn't fight for morality." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 889

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 335

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 917

You deserved it 4 318