Kids: Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's...

By disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 042

You deserved it 1 483

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ohhdear.___. - 26/03/2012 14:54 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 480

You deserved it 5 474

By Anonymous - 26/04/2012 04:36 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 2 695

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 721

You deserved it 3 605

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 863

You deserved it 5 296

Kids are assholes to each other

By sphear880 - 21/05/2021 19:59

Today, I have discovered that my daughter is struggling with anorexia. When I sat down to talk with her about it, she said it’s because, "all the other kids at school keep calling her fat." She was underweight before, and has now gone to being severely underweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 117

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 953

You deserved it 5 638

By drewcaver - 12/04/2015 19:49 - United States - Houston

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 2 324

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 613

By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 724

You deserved it 5 871

Fashionable disorders

By julia - 27/07/2022 22:00

Today, my eleven-year-old daughter complained that she has "no serotonin.” I fear what is to come for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 192

smallfeetbigtoes 7

Friday 1 July 2016 16:51

Maybe she is getting pre period cramps...

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Friday 1 July 2016 16:45

Don't be daft! It's obviously a razor-sharp lettuce-leaf!

Comments

justahorriblegue 4

Friday 8 July 2016 22:36

I know this sounds inappropriate and we wish so bad for our children to keep their innocence forever; however, I say this respectfully.. maybe you need to have the sex talk with your child... and take her to the doctor.

justahorriblegue 4

Friday 8 July 2016 22:38

The doctor will be able to determine all possible variables. But pointy carrots? C'mon now..

justahorriblegue 4

Friday 8 July 2016 22:40

Sooner the better... you never know if it could be liver damage or appendix rupture or ... yeah in a few months she bleeds for a while and you have to change her sheets and then she doesn't get her period again for another 3 or 4 years due to how ****** up her system got off the first period.