Love: Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems...

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 4 657

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 139

By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 497

You deserved it 5 646

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 271

You deserved it 5 503

Condom advertisement

By Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 11:40

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 584

You deserved it 1 764

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 19:00

Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 457

You deserved it 327

By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 2 594

By Bethany - 20/01/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 442

You deserved it 15 848

Great surprise

By Deployed - 07/12/2019 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 705

You deserved it 192

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

ajilon7 17

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:11

Wow, sorry to hear that OP. Hope your wife figures it out lol

SMHsohard 22

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:55

Can't resist-*legitimately

Comments

purepumpkin 12

Thursday 25 December 2014 16:06

Your "dimwitted" wife doesn't know where you are 24/7 and your ex probably realizes it's not yours and is just making your life miserable. YDI for being a dick.

Jonfun 14

Thursday 25 December 2014 21:45

Drinks on me!

JudgeComrade 17

Thursday 25 December 2014 22:35

That's the problem with trophy wives.

taffyle 10

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:38

Calling your wife dimwitted says a lot.

crackpotL 33

Monday 29 December 2014 19:12

thats because she thinks you cheated on her.

jnajmc6 8

Saturday 11 April 2015 2:55

I see a reoccurring theme with these women... Sorry your wife isn't smart enough to comprehend a simple problem like figuring out the 3 months vs. 12 (or more) months!