Health: Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in...

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By ckatia - 30/08/2016 09:29 - France - Paris

Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 772

You deserved it 2 228

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Same thing different taste

That's you that is

By K.H - 26/10/2009 16:42 - Sweden

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 398

You deserved it 6 042

By himtopia19 - 03/03/2009 00:09 - United States

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 658

You deserved it 16 440

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 238

Hiya!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2009 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat!" I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 856

You deserved it 40 696

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 261

You deserved it 3 584

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 593

You deserved it 4 597

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 17 431

Fight or flight

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 4 149

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 297

You deserved it 3 688

By Idk - 29/05/2014 06:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 743

You deserved it 5 110

Tarlachia 33

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:34

Own it like you're awesome and you know it. Take a sharpie and draw a cat's face on it, sit down on the ground and pet the kitty. Be sure to meow in reply to yourself for bonus points!

takeittoem 8

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:43

At least it wasn't a porcupine or a skunk....

Comments

Joshawott 21

Tuesday 30 August 2016 21:24

You could have pretended that you simply being environmentally friendly and picked it up, but nope, you just had to out yourself the world here :P

Druu 53

Tuesday 30 August 2016 21:35

This is how my parents discovered that I needed glasses. As a child, I pointed out a black cat, which was actually a bag of garbage.

candyndanny 10

Tuesday 30 August 2016 22:32

i did that once...it was pitch black in our back yard thought it was piggy our cat...nope it was a possum...

blairiofosterio1 10

Tuesday 30 August 2016 23:44

This is about as good as I get at finding pussy

species4872 19

Wednesday 31 August 2016 0:17

BREAKING NEWS Man finds new species of cat, Astounds scientific community. Neighbor claims hoax; It just looks like a plastic bag to me, says neighbor, Although I can't explain why it started purring when I got closer. Scientists at the Institute for advanced Feline studies say that we may very well have a new species apparently with an uncanny ability for camouflage. More details at eleven plus sport and weather.

Fuxxxer 11

Wednesday 31 August 2016 5:30

how stupid are you... Little Dumbfucking Twat Sucker

mercyelvira42 23

Wednesday 31 August 2016 6:17

At least it wasn't a sewer rat like in Adventures in Babysitting

DeviousDreamer 13

Wednesday 31 August 2016 10:24

Please, for the love of god, have someone drive you to an optometrist and refrain from using heavy machinery!

shannon2348 14

Sunday 17 November 2019 23:00

If you cant tell a cat from a plastic bag while standing right next to it then I'd say you're legally blind. What I dont get is how are you even able to see to post on fml??