Health: Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated...

By norestforthewicked - 19/04/2011 04:30

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 107

You deserved it 4 334

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Same thing different taste

You absolute melt

By hkkilla - 16/03/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 860

You deserved it 10 537

Brain worms

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Ridgefield

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck. I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 837

You deserved it 10 009

By human - 21/06/2019 00:01

Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 253

Spooky

By Lopez85 - 22/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 116

By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 749

Hmmm, candy

By SleepEat - 25/02/2021 21:30

Today, I found out that I eat candy in my sleep. For two months I've been dieting because of my weight and high risk of diabetes. I now know why nothing has changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 178

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

How could you?

By damnitsam - 06/08/2017 20:00

Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 378

You deserved it 422

Spooky

By early grave - 17/10/2023 02:30

Today, I discovered that I am going to the store, buying junk food, and eating it almost every night… entirely in my sleep. So much for being healthy and not dying in my forties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 197

Hush hush

By Louis - 02/09/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 224

I_See_Purple_Ppl 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:56

damn. you might just want to give up and listen to your sub conscious. sounds like it's winning anyways...

badbe 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:52

haha you poor thing

Comments

hxc4god 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 15:11

diets are stupid.. all you have to really do exercise and portion control.. u could eat shit all day and not gain a single pound if u exercised properly.. input over output stays put... in other words, u eat more than u burn, you will gain weight. simple

catatonicsleep 17

Tuesday 19 April 2011 19:11

Weight loss is 20% exercise 80% balanced diet. So no you cant eat crap all day as long as you exercise. Muscle building exercise is best as it burns for longer after you finish than cardio will.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 19 April 2011 20:56

I agree with the OP of this thread... it's just a matter of input vs output. I ate like crap for a while (since I had no money and there was nothing good in the house) and didn't gain weight. Mind you, I was calorie counting which isn't good in itself, but eating crap food all day isn't going to make you gain weight if you're watching how much you're taking in vs how much you burn. With all that said, it's not healthy to eat like that; I knew that then, and I know that now. I also realize that not everyone is going to react the same way I did (i.e. not gain weight)... and no, my metabolism isn't great. I gain weight just by looking at food if I'm inactive. I'm not sure of which ones, but I'm sure there are a few vitamins which aid weight loss.

Michele2luv 8

Tuesday 19 April 2011 20:58

when someone looks like you I suppose you wld think diets are stupid lol

Suadmonkey 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 1:07

metabolism? duh.

candie266 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 15:11

lol fat self .

penguinazul 13

Tuesday 19 April 2011 15:24

I had an overweight friend who had this eating/sleeping disorder; every time she tried to diet, it never worked because whatever weight she lost would get put right back on (and then some) because she's a sleep-eater. I don't know if they've done anything about it since we were in high school, but it doesn't look like they've done much because her Facebook shows that she's just as big now as she was in high school. But it's true -- get a sleep test done and put a lock on your fridge so this won't happen anymore.