Miscellaneous: Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years:...

By Mewsmash - 01/01/2016 16:23 - United States - Dublin

Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 277

You deserved it 1 557

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 14:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 022

You deserved it 2 228

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 872

Digging it

By blech - 08/12/2014 23:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 765

You deserved it 2 560

By clean - 16/09/2013 07:51 - Australia - Ashfield

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 171

You deserved it 4 294

Drill baby drill

By anon - 09/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 153

Crooked

By Anonymous - 08/11/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed, I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied, "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 502

You deserved it 7 145

Jaws 2: A Pig in the City

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 02:03

Today, after a childhood of battling bad teeth and cavities, I'm an overzealous brusher. I found out that I have cavities in all quadrants of my mouth from over-brushing, which will need multiple appointments to fill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 225

Worst life hack ever

By 1meme129 - 24/02/2016 14:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 313

You deserved it 1 600

By aggghghgh - 14/05/2016 08:51

Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 544

You deserved it 2 121

LadyKayDee 23

Saturday 2 January 2016 15:38

I would be horribly disgusted. That's gross

CODplayer4lyfe 24

Saturday 2 January 2016 15:53

Maybe it's just me, but wouldn't wiping your teeth down with paper towels be more involving and possibly time consuming than a quick brush?

Comments

TheRiddler23 9

Monday 4 January 2016 5:17

He's lying that's impossible.

eighthling 10

Monday 4 January 2016 17:32

If he doesn't eat added sugar he'd be fine. Teeth brushing is only necessary because of the amount if sugar we add to our food.

blackonblight 32

Tuesday 26 January 2016 22:09

If he eats foods that naturally clean them and is thorough with the wipe-clean, it makes perfect sense. Some people can't handle bristles, and they make these finger swipe things for on-the-go, minty cloth you rub over your teeth and then toss out. I've used them before, they work fine for during a long day, or just eat an apple or another fruit/veggie with a similar crunch.