Intimacy: Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking...

By gingerbetty - 04/09/2012 07:54 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 141

You deserved it 4 715

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 10 557

Reverse Uno

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 20:01

Today, while trying to be sexy for my fiancé by going to change his background photo to a naughty pic of myself, I found out he's been actively cheating on me. For almost a year, with multiple women. When confronted, he tried telling how hard me finding out was for HIM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 14:26 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 741

You deserved it 3 778

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 4 441

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 400

You deserved it 6 432

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 3 573

Douche

By YouDontSay - 10/05/2015 15:35 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 583

You deserved it 6 917

By say my name - 01/07/2012 01:35

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 395

You deserved it 11 427

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 11 509

What?

By clueless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 532

You deserved it 3 256

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 4 September 2012 16:13

The most logical explanation is usually the right one. Here, the most logical explanation is obviously that you've been hearing his best friend scream "DON'T STOP!" as you're schtupping him.

immaMonsta 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 16:11

I'm sorry he was so quick to accuse you OP. Maybe you should prove to him that you've been taking these lessons by taking him to a session with you or something?

Comments

Pandamonia88 9

Wednesday 5 September 2012 8:37

Maybe you forgot to pronounce your DDs as ffthh and your LLs as chlll and accidentally told him he's 'not as good as [Gareth|Dai|Bryn]'?

FabulousToaster 16

Monday 26 October 2015 12:13

This is like accents in Spanish. 'Mi papá tiene 47 años' = 'My dad is 47 years old.' 'Mi papa tiene 47 anos'= My potato has 47 anuses. Which one do you want to put on a résumé?

Demonfish 14

Wednesday 5 September 2012 9:03

35 is not wrong...

FalconWhitaker 20

Wednesday 5 September 2012 12:03

... but... what... how would he even come to that conclusion?!! I'm just so confused.

marcmcclelland 2

Wednesday 5 September 2012 16:43

Back to the sheep for him it seems!

Isa_fml 20

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:32

Oh, lord, what a moron. I'm sorry you have to put up with this idiot, OP. Hope you get it worked out. Hope it's worth working out... :P

katie887 2

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:53

He wants out and that's just an excuse. Dump him if he won't believe you, don't try too hard.

SaveCowEatCarrot 14

Thursday 6 September 2012 20:36

FINALLY, SOMEBODY ELSE WHO LIVES IN WALES!!! By the way, you did say "stopio dim", didn't you?

88vivera 9

Saturday 8 September 2012 20:40

He's stupid

NotARussianSpy 5

Tuesday 11 September 2012 6:16

Dump him, find someone less paranoid and/or stupid, FYL, etc. Unless, of course, you actually did cheat on him (unlikely, but still possible), in which case, YDI, go **** yourself, etc.