Kids: Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but...

By awesomekidsmum - 18/09/2011 01:20 - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 763

You deserved it 9 137

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Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 589

You deserved it 409

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 15 254

By kansasgirl - 02/03/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 766

You deserved it 4 386

By DrLight - 17/01/2015 01:59 - United States - Raleigh

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 443

You deserved it 3 768

Boys will be boys

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 046

You deserved it 7 061

Mommy Goes Commando

By Anonymous - 03/08/2017 13:00

Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 301

You deserved it 2 831

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 02:38 - United States

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 927

You deserved it 7 894

By volleyballgirl - 28/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 963

You deserved it 32 716

By Yoda - 08/07/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 4 900

FYLDeep 25

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:08

Just be glad you got to him right away. Sounded like he was about to **** some bitches up.

abudali911 3

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:07

sickest fml ever

Comments

s0m3guy2010 21

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:11

Hopefully there weren't any Persians in his way?

WeirdSauce 7

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:12

Sparta for life, Badminton for life

thesiwel 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:13

FML?? More like your life wins, and the fact he is five and is already Spartan is epic

Petronix 5

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:15

Fml? Really?? That is awesome!

hairguitarhero 5

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:17

That's one badass five year old.

yumsugarr 8

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:18

Creative 5 year old(:

stars_fan 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:19

What are you doing letting a five year old watch 300?

Enslaved 36

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:26

Many people (5 year olds included) would know that saying even without watching "300". But I agree, it's not a kids movie.

CuteDumBlonde64 11

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:22

Most FML are usually FAKE, but this one sound SO REAL! I can imagine the embarrassment you went through :)

denvan 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:22

300 and Star Wars combined. Creativity= priceless

DMC_Hotness 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 9:25

Your kid ftw!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 715

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

The Top

Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. Two weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they couldn't make it that day and turned up any way after I'd gone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 180

Today, my dad took me to a Yankees game at the new Yankee Stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I yelled out, "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 051

You deserved it 102 176

Today, at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 1 296

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 12 429

Today, it was a new co-worker's first day, and yet again management told them to use the room I always use, and I yet again had to relocate my stuff to accommodate the newbie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 140

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 125

You deserved it 44 812