By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 23:18 - Canada

Spicy
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 681
You deserved it 38 537
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Top comments

brennboo 3

haha win for the stripper :) she got paid to beat your ass hahaha

107 4
brennboo 3

I guess 5 bucks wasn't enough for her :)

96 5

Comments

paid2think 0

Your smiless fresh

1 7
H8rSk8r 0

Today, this fatso got up on stage at the strip club I work at. He expected me to do something hot. I took off his belt ( with my teeth ) and spanked him with it. Fatty didn't like spankings, so all I got was five f*cking dollars.

32 5
hairt 4

omg #8 you were the stripper?!!!!? :o :P

12 6
LoganBballin16 0

hahahaha you have 25 buckel prints on your butt!!

1 8
xThatAsianGurlx 0

@19 haha I guess you never know :P

1 4
skittle68 0

YDI don't you know that's the sort of thing strippers ALWAYS do if you are dumb enough to go on stage???

5 0
brennboo 3

haha win for the stripper :) she got paid to beat your ass hahaha

107 4
flighted 1

right, what else do you expect with $5?? I would have beat him too if I were a stripper and he gave me $5 lol

0 0
wolve86 0

I got worse on my bachelor party and paid more.... this is weak

5 19
iheartowls 0

If it was that bad, and that much of a FML, all you had to do was walk away. YDI.

28 2
Mirorbo 26

Darling, NEVER offer money from your mouth! That's poor club etiquette! You were asking for it!

57 4
Elizabeth123654 0

Oh darling. WILL YOU STOP ******* SAYING DARLING, darling? kiss kiss!

7 41
xThatAsianGurlx 0

Studies say most money type of bills have been in a strippers ass crack....

32 3
angelo8320 0

most money type of bills? are you sure they didn't mean duck bills?

23 0
WallyTheWombat 0

Supposedly 99% of bills have cocaine residue on them.

11 1
mrahhhhh 21

Actually it's more like 80%. I read a story on an urban legend website a few weeks ago. Still a pretty staggering number. Dr. Rockzo would be so ecstatic right now.

9 2
Filitov 0

And 63.14% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

25 1
antoinemartinez 0

thts hard to belive but yur hot so I'll go with it

0 20
drsheena 0

that sentence she wrote did not make sense.

7 0
jtin13 0

I love you for the metalocalypse reference

1 1
Panchodelmonte 0

hi,my name is Angel and I just wanted to say is that ur beautifull.

1 11
fakkumairaifu 14

Higher denomination bills have more residue apparently. I read somewhere that they tend to be handled less than small bills, and thus are usually less porous thereby absorbing less of your nose candy. Can't give (non-made-up) percentages though.

6 0
Elizabeth123654 0

34: Actually, not because strippers have used the money, therefore there are traces of cocaine on them, it's because when bills are damaged (ripped, burned, or sometimes a non-existent currency), they are burned and then used again. The cocaine, which is only a very small trace, is actually put there by the mint they were made in because the cocaine acts as if a thin protective layer, which protects the money from light damage and also, when the money is being burned, the cocaine layer helps it burn much, much faster. 49: It's 64%, dumbass.

1 12
bri_random 0

you were obviously a very naughty boy. my suggestion: meet up with her after the club closes and show her how it's done. smack her 25 times. . . with your ****! :)

19 9
fits138 0

I def giggled when I read this!

2 4
onlyonefunny 2

Your sick..sick!!

1 6