Intimacy: Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday....

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 23:18 - Canada

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 683

You deserved it 38 541

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Same thing different taste

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 359

You deserved it 6 886

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 23:45 - United States

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 599

You deserved it 34 639

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 45 546

What a thoughtful gift

By Natsert99 - 08/12/2016 14:02 - United States - Deerfield

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 130

You deserved it 1 253

Grossed out

By ChePow - 20/08/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 518

You deserved it 6 530

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 869

You deserved it 5 979

These boots are made for walking

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 05:01

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 357

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 42 025

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 306

You deserved it 51 903

Night on the tiles

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

brennboo 3

Thursday 7 October 2010 9:07

haha win for the stripper :) she got paid to beat your ass hahaha

brennboo 3

Thursday 7 October 2010 9:09

I guess 5 bucks wasn't enough for her :)

Comments

Akai_fml 4

Friday 8 October 2010 0:34

I think this was posted on the wrong site--it should end with IMMD!

beeffyboy 0

Friday 8 October 2010 1:16

ooooo sounds like a fun nite

krismir29 0

Friday 8 October 2010 1:20

my friend paid five to be made to climb up a strip pole naked. you're better off

LoonyLuna123 0

Friday 8 October 2010 3:30

lots of guys pay way more for that kind of treatment

gman79 0

Friday 8 October 2010 4:43

some people will pay extra for that, your life rocks

audawe 0

Friday 8 October 2010 4:45

Little do you know, this happens pretty frequently.

melly219 0

Friday 8 October 2010 4:57

well u no wh they say u get wht u pay for

Buchitoo 4

Friday 8 October 2010 8:22

We have the same birthday. YAY for us!!! 

ajfraser 3

Friday 8 October 2010 8:45

what did you think she would do for 5 bucks?

FLCL4711Fox 0

Friday 8 October 2010 10:07

"thank you ma'am, may I have another?" ahhh, massacism at it's finest

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 18 929

You deserved it 30 038

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I agree, your life sucks 57 229

You deserved it 3 680

Today, it's my 30th Birthday. The day started with me tripping in the shower and breaking my arm, continued with a car crashing into our car in the hospital parking, and ended with yet another car crash while finally driving home. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 973

You deserved it 200

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 320

You deserved it 9 638

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 768

You deserved it 3 788

Today, I had my first day off in six months. My mother immediately came down to my room and demanded that I clean the entire house. As I was cleaning, she said, "You don’t get to relax. Ever. Lazy ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 113