Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation,...

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 4 505

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 1 235

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 394

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 730

You deserved it 8 005

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 960

You deserved it 7 658

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 312

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 8 832

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 816

You deserved it 7 966

skip_m 6

Sunday 3 February 2013 18:46

It's a Small World After All.

CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

Sunday 3 February 2013 21:54

It's not the size of your penis that matters. It's how you thrust in and out during sexual intercourse. I'm bad at puns..

Comments

Epikouros 31

Sunday 3 February 2013 20:27

Rule of thumb: never mention the size of your boyfriend's penis, not even in a positive way, unless it's way above average. P.S. When I'm typing 'penis', my phone predicts 'perdix'.

onorexveritas 23

Sunday 3 February 2013 20:48

interesting logic

disisDebosbike 2

Sunday 3 February 2013 21:20

Tell her it's nice to have a girl that is so easy to enter. Make a second comment about how it feels so spacious inside of her, but make sure you jump out the window after. I won't be held responsible for what ensues..

l23VIVE 17

Sunday 3 February 2013 21:23

To be fair, she could have said you had a small penis and that you were bad in bed

buckdharma 37

Sunday 3 February 2013 21:33

I was helping a girl move furniture in her bedroom. When we moved her dresser, I almost jumped out of my shoes. What I mistook for a snake, turned out to be her misplaced sex-toy. It looked like it belonged in a cage. A big cage!

FunnyMedic 7

Sunday 3 February 2013 21:57

I guess it's fair to say she has a bone to pick with you...

ninad7 12

Sunday 3 February 2013 22:10

just say yeah, I was thinking the same thing about your boobs...

CrookedCook 14

Sunday 3 February 2013 22:21

Don't be sad OP, at least she admitted you weren't bad at the rocking, which counts the most.

doritowhore 9

Sunday 3 February 2013 22:57

I feel like every week there is an FML that has to do with penis size...

mike307 11

Sunday 3 February 2013 23:08

To the girls that think that this poor guy got a compliment.... This is like a guy saying something to the effect that "your not to bad looking, your ok :/..."