By Unknown - 07/02/2014 14:18 - United States - Lamoni

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 575
You deserved it 21 358
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

macystar 14

Well, look on the bright side. Technically you're still a virgin. So she can still be your first.

407 0

Comments

olpally 32

Hahaha! Try doing it when you're both sober next time! :D you idiot. Lol.

25 9
meirginsburg18 10

If we are getting technical you lost your virginity to your hand a long time ago

23 4
luckyme143 13

poor couch..bet it wasn't expecting that lol

14 1
hemanx69x 0

This is a lie. Like most things on the internet. You stole this story from blue mountain state the TV show. Alex ****** a couch when he was younger. Admitted it to his teammates

1 4
Warmonger_Smurf 29

Well let's hope you don't knock up the couch and end up having a love seat.

35 1
perdix 29

So, the first time you had sex, you cheated on your girlfriend right on front of her face? This is not going to end well.

36 4
WeirdQueer 8

At least it makes for a funny first time story!

5 2
DLT_fml 20

It makes me Thad that they stopped making that show.

0 1
israelnotjacob 20

The fact that you couldn't even figure out that you weren't actually inside tells me you're too young to be having sex in the first place. Getting in especially on your first time isn't always easy, but the feeling is pretty hard to confuse.

6 18
ChibiChibi_fml 27

"Quite Drunk" Age has nothing to do with the fact that alcohol numbs your senses quite a bit. He felt tightness and pleasant sensation, that was all his drunken self needed. Plus while wearing a condom while drunk there is no reason to expect a virgin to be able to feel the difference between inside of her, and rubbing between her ass cheeks. If he had been sober it would have been more of an unreasonable mistake that might indicate that he wasn't ready for sex. While drunk his senses as well as his inhibitions have been impaired and he doesn't have any previous experience to compare to, to tell him how it should feel.

14 2