Sex and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never...

By Anonymous - 26/03/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 080

You deserved it 10 550

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 4 017

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 246

You deserved it 1 240

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 221

You deserved it 5 969

By Magnus_the_Red - 09/09/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 620

You deserved it 3 985

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

By anonymous - 20/02/2010 01:47 - Ireland

Today, while in bed with my game-obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 473

You deserved it 6 759

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 20 916

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 124

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 218

Murphy_21 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

In my experience its the adorable ones that make the best lovers. She's missing out.

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:01

She cheating on you.

Comments

Humanspider 18

Thursday 24 November 2011 12:23

Maybe her sister will take you more serious.

xXcaraXx 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 23:28

At least she called u adorable lol But that sux

asdfghjklana 9

Thursday 5 April 2012 1:10

Aww. Thats cute.

mowmowlife 21

Monday 16 July 2012 1:22

If you're as adorable as she claims I would like to have you over this evening

wholock 12

Saturday 9 November 2013 5:42

It's good to be adorable though

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:12

Wouldn't that make someone want you more?(;

TaterTot5122 7

Tuesday 18 February 2014 13:25

Hey, at least you're adorable!

melkymac101 17

Wednesday 19 February 2014 15:14

I think that's worse than friendzone

DarksideDoll 31

Saturday 1 March 2014 3:01

Go punch a bear in the face to get more manly points!

Lace175 6

Saturday 6 September 2014 1:58

prove her wrong ;)

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I was uninvited to our usual family Thanksgiving, as well as the rest of the holidays with my extended family. Why? They found out who I voted for. I won't say who, but according to my aunt, I'm to blame for putting their son's healthcare at risk. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 1 087

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 648

You deserved it 532

The Top

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 178

You deserved it 46 909

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 822

You deserved it 3 479

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 192

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 788

You deserved it 5 723

Today, after switching careers to nursing, I got feedback for my first assessment. It indirectly implied, "Don't think like a doctor when you're studying nursing, don't diagnose patients." I barely passed and I'm only now realizing why my family was pushing me to go to med school. They know me better than myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 663

Today, I entered a restaurant just to use the WiFi. In order not to look cheap, I ordered a meal and a beverage. The WiFi didn't work and now I don't have enough money to buy dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 956

You deserved it 12 772