By Anonymous - 15/03/2012 11:50 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 178
You deserved it 3 727
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

enriquepp 4

Well I guess instead of masturbating you can call it snake handling now.

175 1

Comments

ninjuh_wingman 29

Well I guess we know whos not getting any.

2 1
perdix 29

I guess she's not a herpetologist. You're housing a rare species: the Friend Zone Anaconda.

24 3
alexup24 13

use it as a cobra that she must tame, role play OP, role play...

9 1
ddeathbombb 5

Wow and how long has this been going for

4 1
DocBastard 38

Well that's a pain in the asp, but she's probably just trying to rattle you. Maybe if you cheered her up with a diamondback necklace and a Monty Python movie, she'd take off her old moccasins and put on a garter belt and a feather boa, and thinks would get really kinky. Make sure you use some mouthwash so you don't have cottonmouth. Now go get her and do the horizontal mamba! Adder boy!

34 2
DocBastard 38

The only thing I can imagine this guy needing is a girlfriendectomy followed closely by a girlfriend transplant.

16 2
meggieeee51 9

That's different. Saying " i want to wait" is not the same as "I never see myself touching you"

7 1
wlddog 14

115 What is the point of risking it? I agree with "There is a huge difference between waiting and never".

2 1
downtime 12

55, The term shallow must have been extended to mean anything to do with negativity towards those not wanting sex in your dictionary. The rest of us don't have the updated version, so as far as we are concerned, no it isn't.

2 1
fernclogger 5

Slap her across the face with it..

8 3
token_blackguy 18

Time to trade her in for a better model.

2 2
BunBunBabe 8

Break up, plenty of other girls will touch your penis lol

6 4
downtime 12

53, No you don't. You want a really good best friend who you find attractive.

1 2
wlddog 14

53- what kind of future could they possibly have if she tells him up front there will be NO sex possible for the rest of their life? I think you are scared of trouser snakes as well.

1 2
FaithDawson 8

145, who says it's for the rest of their life?? What if she, or anyone for that matter, wants to be abstinent until they're married. There are still people out there who do that, you know.

2 1
downtime 12

Because the FML says she won't ever touch him, and this idiot seems to think theres nothing wrong with that. If they were talking about "until marriage" then that would make their statement completely out of context and therefore redundant.

0 1