Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because...

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By Anonymous - 15/03/2012 11:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 3 731

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Same thing different taste

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 086

You deserved it 4 513

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 159

You deserved it 36 949

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 822

You deserved it 7 968

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 823

You deserved it 5 458

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 797

You deserved it 6 075

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 698

You deserved it 60 165

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 117

You deserved it 10 956

Twins

By rufusthepenis - 02/10/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 336

You deserved it 4 852

By rastafarimon - 17/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 183

You deserved it 8 981

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 7 002

enriquepp 4

Thursday 15 March 2012 15:59

Well I guess instead of masturbating you can call it snake handling now.

daviddupree 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 15:55

That sucks dude

Comments

iceman420son 7

Friday 16 March 2012 1:07

Never thought i would c this many guys tlking about penis lol

mikepattonfan 0

Friday 16 March 2012 1:20

You should have got your "snake" to spit some of its venom in her direction

Caper91 0

Friday 16 March 2012 1:26

You should ask her to play your skin flute, that'll calm the snake, then mane shell touch it.

MCRaddict15 15

Friday 16 March 2012 1:27

Compare her boobs to a porcupine?.. sorry OP, I would suggest breaking it off with her, she obviously doesnt care about you.

Taioteth 4

Friday 16 March 2012 1:33

I think it's time to find someone else there OP

gravygecko 2

Friday 16 March 2012 1:57

Tell her that she reminds you of a beautiful Rose...because you're not dating one of those either. Then dump her and find one that isn't a bitch.

PANDALEGIT 8

Friday 16 March 2012 2:06

Pull it out when she is asleep

PistolWhiper93 0

Friday 16 March 2012 4:22

Nice luck of the draw. Trolls let us go.

hopechancey 4

Friday 16 March 2012 4:24

Looks like your right arm is going to be very muscular....

StayatHomeSon 9

Friday 16 March 2012 5:22

Yo girl sounds like a bitch

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