Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because...

By Anonymous - 15/03/2012 11:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 178

You deserved it 3 727

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Same thing different taste

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 4 506

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 146

You deserved it 36 930

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 816

You deserved it 7 966

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 5 456

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 6 072

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 688

You deserved it 60 146

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

Twins

By rufusthepenis - 02/10/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 331

You deserved it 4 851

By rastafarimon - 17/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 179

You deserved it 8 978

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 676

You deserved it 7 000

enriquepp 4

Thursday 15 March 2012 15:59

Well I guess instead of masturbating you can call it snake handling now.

daviddupree 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 15:55

That sucks dude

Comments

TynoMite 3

Friday 16 March 2012 7:08

She's a lesbian.

fourthfloor 3

Friday 16 March 2012 9:16

She actually sounds pretty immature, how old are you guys? Sounds like an extremely childish thing to say, she is still in the " boys are nasty" stage. Either wait to be old enough to understand sex or find a more mature girlfriend.

Crazberry 5

Friday 16 March 2012 13:20

Instead of just giving up on her like so many of the people on this page seem to want you to do, maybe consider that she isn't entirely comfortable with sex yet and make an attempt to make her feel comfortable. A woman who WANTS to do naughty things will usually do them well ;) And no, cockslapping her doesn't count as getting her used to it...

Alex_purr 8

Friday 16 March 2012 21:28

U should tell her her ****** looks like spider not because of the size shape or fur but cuz u don't wanna eat it touch it or be anywhere near it.... Lol