Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

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By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 682

You deserved it 7 334

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Same thing different taste

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 071

You deserved it 5 350

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 225

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 792

You deserved it 2 893

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 573

You deserved it 9 490

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 045

You deserved it 2 097

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 238

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 5 885

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 4 813

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 693

You deserved it 6 105

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 578

You deserved it 4 359

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

MeowMan 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:00

microwave it.

LesYeuxDeDario 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:00

That's what I wanted to say, Make a soup ! and use the shell after as something cool, i dunno... one of those thingys to put out cigarettes or something ... The other thing is you can spend those 30 years with him training him to be a ninja turtle and let him kill your ex...

kaelendra 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:01

Not really a FML... Make the girl take the pet or advertise somewhere like craigslist or freecycle.

CassandraBear93 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:01

haha #97 turtle soup recipie sounds good..lol

ohmyjesus_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:02

you can try selling it or ask local pet stores if they will take it off your hands

jet_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:02

Gee, you're not that smart, are you? All you have to do is give it away. *eyeroll*

jewelzgalore 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:02

Aw, I've always wanted a turtle! Don't be cheap, just take care of the poor guy.

coldplaylive2003 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:03

Squish him

kennakatherine 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:03

Sell it. I wouldn't take care of a turtle for 30 years.

jerzygurl 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:05

sorry to hear about that.. thats messed up but take the turtle to a shelter or post an ad online.. i foster homeless animals and always check online to find some that need a new home.. btw turtles ARE very difficult to take care i have a bunch they take a lot of work.. good luck