Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 674

You deserved it 7 333

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Same thing different taste

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 5 346

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 223

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 567

You deserved it 9 488

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 040

You deserved it 2 096

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 5 880

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 811

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 683

You deserved it 6 104

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 577

You deserved it 4 355

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

majdoub 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:47

slap the **** and shove the turtle down her mouth

flyingpan8 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:55

well, time for some turtle soup! i remember when i was little, we would let our turtle used roam around the garden and just be real chilled out. except this one day it decided to venture into the garage and "rest" under the car.. of course, we only found this out after we had driven the car out of the garage and heard a rather loud crunch. traumatic really. all the tuetle kill talk brought back some pretty disturbing memories. bring it to a shelter man. an innocent turtle shouldn't bear the brunt of your bitchy ex gf.

genius_man16 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:53

put it in a basket and then leave the turtle on her front doorstep

kristysnow_live 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:56

I really don't see what's so bad about this situation. Definitely not a FML at all.

wowfmlife 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:57

i want a turtle so bad! but Andre is a pretty gay turtle name

vicv666 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:00

this is not an FML your life is not f*** you can throw it away, go to a pet shop and donate it, or give it to someone

milenavessylo 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:02

tell her you need to stay together until the turtle turns 18, otherwise the turtle will feel like it was his fault :P

BAbyR 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:02

andre. lmao

pkulaga 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:03

sucks to be the turtle. it's not that difficult to give them away though. just post an ad on craigslist or something. or if you are in college, it will be even easier, just make sure the people you give it to are actually responsible enough to take care of the little guy. i don't really recommend keeping the turtle... you never wanted it to begin with. you'll just start to resent it and its association with your ex. find him a nice loving home, forget about your ex, and if your next gf wants a pet, make sure she knows its HER pet and not "OUR" pet.