By con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 010
You deserved it 10 299

con135 tells us more.

con135 12

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

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Top comments

Obito_Rocks 6

I'm hoping it didn't end up the way it did on the show, anyway.

321 1

Comments

rickyricoco 12

"you think this is a joke?" "NO, THIS IS PATRICK"

67 6
LostInTheZone11 29

Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.

56 3
shaynacaves 15

First hand-job and you're throwing out spongebob lines? Yeah you'll do just fine in life!

9 33
alanamarieg 18

I was thinking White Chicks reference at first, haha.

13 0
SkullSphinx 10

I can't even decide if your life sucks or if it's your fault, that's so freaking awesome!

14 3
UhHuhHoney 20

"Two hours later...."

46 1
Ziggy122 15

Can you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.

27 0