By con135 - 13/01/2015 01:16 - United States - Farmingdale

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 010
You deserved it 10 299

con135 tells us more.

con135 12

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

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Top comments

Obito_Rocks 6

I'm hoping it didn't end up the way it did on the show, anyway.

321 1

Comments

classicsparkles 17

You, yelled, "firmly grasp it", at your girlfriend? Wow, so romantic, were you afraid she might drop it? I can assure you it isn't made out of glass and it would not shatter if she did.

6 3
Regimental_Phan 18

no no, it's the episode where squidward is in a fullbody cast and spongebob and Patrick take him out jellyfishing.

3 1
LaurenRoxsU 9

@95 Okay wanted to make sure you were/ looked old enough to nostalgically remember the episode. And not because you watched it...LASTNIGHT. Although no judgement. O.O I still remember that episode. Squidward had it allllll kinds of bad, lulz.

2 0
LaurenRoxsU 9

@51, Wait, WAIT. Am I the only one who noticed you mentioned her "dropping it"? I think if she dropped it, he would have way bigger problems than it shattering, I assure you. Admittedly I'm not super brushed up on my anatomy... but I don't think that's a detachable "Plug&Play" option.

1 0
CaroAurelia 12

I've heard it said that if you can't laugh with the person you're banging while you're banging them, you shouldn't be banging them. A sense of humor is key in a relationship.

11 1
con135 12

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

137 1
Moklon 18

That's not so bad, OP! Now you two have a new inside joke/funny story!

151 0
flee2321 10

I agree with #61. It's great that you both can have a sense of humor about it and have an inside joke.

48 1
teentee401 36

Any girlfriend who understands and laughs at Spongebob references is definitely wife material. Congrats.

72 6
LaurenRoxsU 9

@59/OP, That's epic. Definitely marry that woman! Vegas that s#!%, immediately.

17 1
LaurenRoxsU 9

@61, Lol, not so much with a story. Usually my publicly shared stories don't start with "Oh so once when she was giving me a hand job..." Then again I don't have a penis. But that's an entirely separate endeavor. Paraphrasing and such... Eh, you get my point! :)

5 16
alysssssssa 16

That's great! it's better that she took it as a joke rather than being mad about it.

3 0
xluciferx666 21

Poor squidward

3 0
chazzywazzy654 22

Is your girlfriend the same girl who had to mentally sing the FUN song to avoid an anxiety attack?

9 0
alex_gen 38

"I wumbo. You wumbo. He- she- me... wumbo."

54 1
helloboyzder 13

WUMBOLOGY? THE STUDY OF WUMBOLOGY? It's first GRADE, spongebob!

13 0