Love: Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot...

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

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Same thing different taste

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 943

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 745

You deserved it 3 597

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 758

By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 461

You deserved it 18 589

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 17:50 - Netherlands - Lelystad

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 095

You deserved it 4 808

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 150

You deserved it 5 332

By Yudor - 21/12/2008 09:40 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 471

You deserved it 2 456

gear4 29

Monday 28 April 2014 2:17

They're there, princess: >

gjikvtj 18

Monday 28 April 2014 2:22

Go work on some cars and drink beer and do some sports stuff, regain some manliness Then buy the nicest pink dress at Dress Barn

Comments

tranced_ 45

Monday 28 April 2014 2:36

oh the truth had to come out one way or the other..

RomanCatMama 16

Monday 28 April 2014 2:37

Whats the big deal? Its funny, get over it. These things work best when you own it

stfudonnie 10

Monday 28 April 2014 2:41

repressed memories! FYI Joe Rogan is the man.

sushies1 10

Monday 28 April 2014 4:34

Joe Rogaine sucks

Kobe1Kenobi 3

Monday 28 April 2014 2:42

But i love Joe Rogan...

JMichael 25

Monday 28 April 2014 2:42

Hello Josephine

sanecatlady 13

Monday 28 April 2014 2:58

The reason it's not okay for a guy to wear a dress but it is okay for women to wear pants is sadly because society still thinks things made for women are inferior to things made for men. But then again I find most clothes made especially for my gender unbearable to wear and shopping for clothes and shoes in general is torture.

lexiale 10

Monday 28 April 2014 3:19

Play it off and say the dress was for her and you were panicking to get it to her

cheshireau 26

Monday 28 April 2014 3:24

I'm a sleep talker too. I also do things in my sleep that imitate my dreams like using the phone or pouring stuff into the sink. You'll eventually look back and laugh at it. You need to laugh at yourself from time to time.

KamenRiderClive 9

Monday 28 April 2014 3:26

Right, I'm assuming that in Australia "fancy-dress" means the same thing it seems to mean in the UK and therefore he's talking about a costume, as in what one might wear on Halloween of the like. Not a dress, like the item of clothing. So it's not funny for the reason you think it's funny.

sunshineb81 16

Monday 28 April 2014 3:44

"Fancy dress" = costume in the UK? You're right, I had no idea that was the case. Either way it is an innocent and funny FML but I really appreciate someone explaining that.

mikbrooke 25

Monday 28 April 2014 8:19

#21 - being in australia, most people i've met who have talked about a costume party refer to it as a dress up party, or 'whatever their theme is' themed party. and fancy dress generally means something fancy. guess it all just depends on the person.