Love: Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot...

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 942

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 745

You deserved it 3 596

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 758

By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 461

You deserved it 18 589

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 17:50 - Netherlands - Lelystad

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 095

You deserved it 4 808

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 5 332

By Yudor - 21/12/2008 09:40 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 471

You deserved it 2 456

gear4 29

Monday 28 April 2014 2:17

They're there, princess: >

gjikvtj 18

Monday 28 April 2014 2:22

Go work on some cars and drink beer and do some sports stuff, regain some manliness Then buy the nicest pink dress at Dress Barn

Comments

MLardinos 14

Monday 28 April 2014 7:54

My husband talks in his sleep too. This FML reminds me of the time he sat up in bed and with the most serious face he told me "I asked if they wanted to play but pooh and tigger were to busy". I laughed so hard I almost fell out of bed.

Saikon1357 25

Monday 28 April 2014 7:57

So I guess I'm the only one (besides OP of course) bothered by how insensitive a thing that is for the gf to do? Not cool.

blondeambition1 4

Monday 28 April 2014 7:59

Once, while playing Mario party, my friend fell asleep. When it was his turn we'd call his name and he'd randomly push buttons. Sad to say he kicked our assess.

maylie25 18

Monday 28 April 2014 8:13

Lol way too funny

worldclassrager 39

Monday 28 April 2014 8:15

You better hope something comes up soon that is the talk of the town per se but for the time being you are the entertainment for a bit

ChelzTheWolfGirl 29

Monday 28 April 2014 11:19

Somebody sure has their panties in a twist over this.

pink_lightning 16

Monday 28 April 2014 12:22

I think Ron Wesley sat up in bed and said something similar. This fml is definitely familiar!

Stephy94 9

Tuesday 29 April 2014 13:42

"The spiders! They want me to tap-dance! I don't wanna tap dance!" "You tell those spiders, Ron." "Okay."

eLCeenor 7

Monday 28 April 2014 16:15

Well, at least she didn't share it with an entire website.

mybubbles2000 13

Monday 28 April 2014 17:05

I would have loved to see that dream for myself just to know what you were whimpering about.

John_in_Oz 11

Monday 28 April 2014 18:15

Tell them "I was dreaming I was about to shag a supermodel, and announced 'I'm down for anything to f**** you senseless.'" And conclude "Thank god she heard it as 'I don't have anything for the fancy-dress.' I dodged a bullet there."