Love: Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill... - FML

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 183

You deserved it 6 854

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 434

You deserved it 6 395

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 987

You deserved it 2 119

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 3 455

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 660

You deserved it 9 109

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 372

Flip-flopping

By Brandenn J Moore - 11/07/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 94

By WtfDoIDo?! - 02/07/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 231

Extreme response

By poordude - 03/04/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 144

Next

Top comments

mkymouse90 17

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:06

3 weeks you better run she's crazy!

jnanderson 16

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:07

Tell her you're sterile

Comments

unixdude 9

Wednesday 5 February 2014 3:35

I'm sure you will miss her. Send flowers to the funeral home.

Demon0fMind 0

Wednesday 5 February 2014 5:48

Wow, talk about two birds!

Arista669 3

Wednesday 5 February 2014 7:33

Annnnd DONE

Eevee11 6

Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:04

Run dude!! She is a psycho and the longer you are wither she will get worst.

SWeatHeart11_fml 7

Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:10

That is freaky..she doesnt sound mature enough to be a mom just yet. lol

xadoringx 29

Wednesday 5 February 2014 12:32

Run for you life!!

icepick23 12

Wednesday 5 February 2014 17:06

As long as she is hot, go for it.

Omniprism 14

Wednesday 5 February 2014 18:32

Dump her immediately. And if she doesn't leave you alone then get a restraining order. Possibly let her family know she's a little off so they can help her. Good luck.

underguarded 20

Wednesday 5 February 2014 21:38

Leave the crazy where it stands. Don't bring it home with you

MomentoMori 23

Wednesday 5 February 2014 22:57

She needs to be locked away...and fast.

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The Top

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 118

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480 579

You deserved it 70 921

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 231

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 833

You deserved it 15 108

Today, my mother got rid of all my anime DVDs and Manga collection, the reason being that she’s tired of me immersing myself with “ching chong cartoons” and she’s afraid I’ll turn into a “Beijing communist puppet.” Only 10 more months until I turn 18 so I can move the hell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 204

Today, at 17 years-old, I discovered how embarrassing it is to have your kid scream on a flight and how hard it is to calm them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 952

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 487

You deserved it 4 150