By çapousse2904 - 12/09/2014 05:45 - France - Le Pr?-saint-gervais

Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 465
You deserved it 49
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Top comments

crazytwinsmom 25

Miralax works wonders, for the constipation, not the abs.

207 3

Comments

Attacksloth 33

Have you tried... consulting a doctor? This would be a lot funnier if it didn't sound like a medical emergency.

18 1
stargirl_95 24

3 weeks? Why haven't you gone to a doctor yet? Or at least gotten some laxatives

8 2
Tri5arahtops 6

Is it even possible to survive 3 WEEKS without taking a crap??? I've seen on the internet where it says to consult a doctor if you are unable to go after 3 DAYS! Dear Lord man, get yourself to a hospital pronto!! Plus, I would think you would be horrifically bloated if you were that constipated, not losing weight...

12 2
Eternity49 13

Many patients with gastroparesis do go weeks at a time unfortunately and that can get to be quite the emergency.

3 1
KayDee29 31

I was thinking the same thing, usually people's abdomens swell when they're constipated. And yes, OP should probably see a doctor. 3 weeks is a bit too long to go without pooping.

5 0
tournamentdecide 33

Yes, you can. My mom went roughly 7-8 weeks without going because of her diverticulitis.

2 1
Nedryel_fml 4

Actualy I don't think he meant that he was unable to take a crap in 3 weeks. His nickname being "ça pousse" (you could roughly translate by "pushing", I said roughly not literaly) so I guess he has to "push" hard when he goes to the toilet, hence workout.

1 0
ajdmama123 2

if you've been constipated that long. probably should go to a doctor! just saying

2 1
WhatsYOURname6 25

I don't think he meant he hasn't taken a single shit in 3 weeks.. I'm sure he has. Just that he's been dealing with constipation on and off for 3 weeks. Either way, you seriously need to see a doctor,OP!

6 0
Saltinecracker 2

tell her you did it just for her....then...**** her right in the pussy

0 10
thisisthestupid 18

On no! You need to get that out! My uncle died from being constipated for too long! Please use miralax

1 2
ACynclaire 13

Working out actually helps the digestive system move !

1 0
rdenkewicz 11

Hey! Whatever works!

0 1