Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent,... - FML

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By drew_ar85 - 20/03/2010 16:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 104

You deserved it 6 699

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Spicy

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 61 891

Harsh

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 16:59

Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 813

The Voice

By NotChadKrouger - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 15 166

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 647

You deserved it 8 644

By Dying Whale - 02/03/2017 04:00

Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 698

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 260

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 161

You deserved it 42 383

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 227

By Sdutent - 01/03/2009 08:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 265

You deserved it 7 375

Take it while you can

By thanks..? - 03/11/2018 17:30

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 236

Next

Top comments

hpl_fml 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:01

wow just wow

karro 1

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:08

lol maybe she means talking? lol

Comments

elizabethan13 0

Friday 5 August 2011 13:07

Oh gosh, do you men ever stop thinking about your d*cks??

jonyboymusic 6

Wednesday 11 September 2013 19:04

No

Arza81 0

Friday 23 September 2011 7:34

I can't believe some don't think its an FML!! when ur girlfriend says that, in public, then tells you to go ask anyone that knows her.... That's a mother f*****g FML EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK!! she is a keeper though, just don't take her out in public lmao

Strafeh 9

Wednesday 19 October 2011 4:34

#Weak

Matt1989 3

Friday 4 November 2011 21:47

thats one hell of a way to find out your gf is slutty. hahahaha

neilsc 8

Saturday 5 November 2011 21:13

Well least she is honest :) It takes a real girl to be able to be great with her mouth/hands ;) I can show you if you like ;)

kiara16 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:27

Please tell me u dumped her...

Evilbear 16

Tuesday 26 June 2012 14:27

I still don't get it: if a guy has ****** all the girls in town he's awesome, and if a girl has sucked more than one dick she's a ****. Just men's logic I guess ^^

AZ_Hockey_Dude 20

Friday 17 October 2014 16:14

Dump and change

midnightmoon106 12

Saturday 24 January 2015 12:37

That's what she said

hegchog12 18

Sunday 12 July 2015 3:20

I can vouch for her

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The Top

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 577

You deserved it 4 658

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 983

You deserved it 3 935

The Top

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 3 740

Today, I had to use a drop hole toilet while camping. The smell will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 667

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 854

You deserved it 8 879

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 284

You deserved it 6 803

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her best male friend, a creepy "Nice Guy" type. When she went to the bathroom, he came closer to me and said, "She thinks she likes you, but I'm destined to be with her, I saw it in the stars. Nobody can love her like me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 133

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 902

You deserved it 54 464