Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent,... - FML

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By drew_ar85 - 20/03/2010 16:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 104

You deserved it 6 699

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Spicy

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 61 891

Harsh

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 16:59

Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 813

The Voice

By NotChadKrouger - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 15 166

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 647

You deserved it 8 644

By Dying Whale - 02/03/2017 04:00

Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 698

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 260

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 161

You deserved it 42 383

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 227

By Sdutent - 01/03/2009 08:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 265

You deserved it 7 375

Take it while you can

By thanks..? - 03/11/2018 17:30

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 236

Next

Top comments

hpl_fml 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:01

wow just wow

karro 1

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:08

lol maybe she means talking? lol

Comments

JBigDaddy 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 22:00

so instead of asking her to prove it you bitched about it on fml?

ssch 0

Monday 22 March 2010 3:11

she can sing?.... jk she blows well

abbylovesdahlia 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 9:25

Just more experience for you..

koerviipns 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 5:07

Is this a contest? And more importantly can I be a judge?

lpnkprincess 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 0:02

r u, r u really I bet ur not!! :p

kenta_fml 0

Friday 26 March 2010 5:57

why are you the only one who doesnt know?

redeemer96 3

Thursday 8 April 2010 2:53

Whoooore.

maxman32 0

Tuesday 13 April 2010 7:28

FML... no not at all STFU

MaxyK35 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 16:27

well let us know when you can confirm that. seriously though, surely that's a good thing to know? (apart from the fact she's clearly a ****)

LynzCatastrophe 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 9:23

How is this an FML? Your dirty mind could have gone in a wrong direction, however if she is talented with her mouth, you should think of this positively because that means you can get special talent too ^^

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The Top

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 159

You deserved it 10 365

Today, I finally got the call from HR telling me I passed the interview and will get a permanent position, doing the same job I already do. Then they continued to say that if I accept, my pay will be cut to match “other employees pay”. I barely make it on what they are paying me now. I also have a Master's degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner. We were talking over the noise of the restaurant, when suddenly it got quiet as he shouted, “I can’t wait to fuck you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 332

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 411

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 274

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 133

You deserved it 7 848

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 012

You deserved it 6 539

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 410

You deserved it 8 355