Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 478

You deserved it 2 108

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 416

You deserved it 9 432

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 325

You deserved it 21 501

By SwAGkiLlS - 15/07/2012 15:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 956

You deserved it 5 075

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 251

You deserved it 32 744

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 6 270

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 29 606

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 800

Romance

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 4 664

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 987

You deserved it 19 177

cacheson 41

Monday 27 June 2016 15:52

Well, pigs can have 30 minute orgasms. She was probably trying to channel her inner sex demon.

niftyismybitch 21

Monday 27 June 2016 15:55

After finishing you can go with "That'll do pig."

Comments

SiraSiemens 21

Tuesday 28 June 2016 14:20

that'll do pig, that'll do

EpicSpy 4

Wednesday 29 June 2016 8:49

She just wanted to play dirty.

Bt1234567890 10

Wednesday 29 June 2016 11:08

And your complaining ?

Brandon9812 2

Wednesday 29 June 2016 14:19

"Get down there and squeal like a pig, boy..."

AyeMentalJam 21

Wednesday 29 June 2016 15:44

do you happen to be kermit the frog?

llamingo 8

Wednesday 29 June 2016 20:47

Today my pig started making girl noises during sex. FML

AntiBieber_fml 15

Friday 1 July 2016 5:19

A pigs orgasam can last up to 30 minutes

darwinav13 2

Monday 4 July 2016 5:57

David Cameron?

TheAccidentProne 7

Friday 8 July 2016 3:55

I don't know if I should feel sorry for you or congratulate you on your sexual prowess. Let's go for both. I'm sorry for your sexual prowess?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Sunday 10 July 2016 23:54

So she's a squealer!?

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Shoes Relatable Cars Insurance Transportation Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Awkward Clumsy Food Animals First Dates Dating Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 143

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 543

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I was told I couldn't walk across the stage at my graduation because I owe money to lunch services. I owe 14 cents from my freshman year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 515

You deserved it 1 737

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 527

You deserved it 6 692

Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 201

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 394

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 906

You deserved it 477

Same thing different taste

Woof woof

Bad sign

Romance

Top comments

Comments