Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 5 021

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Same thing different taste

Just a prank, bro!

By ilovemymomma - 26/05/2012 07:15 - United States - Hereford

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 272

You deserved it 10 332

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 738

You deserved it 9 703

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 930

By masterzach21 - 22/01/2010 06:25 - United States

Today, I took a picture of my knob on my girlfriend's cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 021

You deserved it 41 471

Tactical nuke

By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 305

You deserved it 93 897

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 3 624

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 831

You deserved it 42 645

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 575

You deserved it 11 473

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 668

You deserved it 2 990

IAmzephyr 22

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:07

Your girlfriend is satan.

ukeandfoodislife 19

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:08

I don't understand why she would do that... Like I understand that was a joke, but it's just asking for trouble.

Comments

thatsme293 28

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:23

I would be so embarrassed fyl op.

Ihavegas 22

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:24

mom: son you did that already when i gave birth to you

vikky538 28

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:30

When you text dont you check previous texts on screen... I always check that to make sure

Xion0014 20

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:32

I wonder what the mothers reply was.

danaleann78 16

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:44

Lol awesome

Geewhiz17 2

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:54

Why? Why would she do something like that? I find it immature and stupid, good luck with that

RuthieeAbreu 10

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:57

That was a nice prank. Lol.

cyberI7 13

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:08

Op, It's fine. I am sure there may be some awkward moments, but this will all be old news soon.

sarcasmwins 24

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:09

That's embarrassing as ****. WIFE HER :D

foxmatrix15 8

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:12

Do what you said put her in a wheelchair for weeks.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 812

You deserved it 38 518

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 127

You deserved it 3 374

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 2 854

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 792

You deserved it 2 086

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 070

You deserved it 2 619

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 3 025