Love: Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature... - FML

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By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 095

You deserved it 15 460

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By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 421

By Ducati - 10/08/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 872

You deserved it 13 483

By Tamps - 13/02/2009 09:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend a new TV as a 10th anniversary present. She gave me a torch on a keyring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 093

You deserved it 6 906

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 390

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 121

You deserved it 10 958

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 774

You deserved it 1 185

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 01:49 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 992

You deserved it 25 928

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By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 956

You deserved it 12 219

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:27 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 058

You deserved it 3 771

By Awie - 20/10/2011 08:26 - Austria

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 354

You deserved it 19 872

Next

Top comments

WiseGuy79 14

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:30

That's damn hilarious but a DO NOT ENTER sign would be even better...

Janawa 22

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:29

Well, I hope you get better at sex, for her sake.

Comments

sopy1875 12

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:36

try anal

thomcmoore 23

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:44

That's pretty much the answer for anything, really.

cakefete2 30

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:37

Try some foreplay, romance, and a few new moves. Also ask her what she likes. Maybe she'll turn it into a "don't stop" sign.

91hayek 31

Friday 20 June 2014 5:54

You mean a green light?

mbuck87 19

Friday 20 June 2014 9:33

No I think he means writing 'don't' on the sign

lulinator 40

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:39

That's creative and hilarious. But, sorry, OP, that's gotta hurt.

cdalton 12

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:43

practice makes perfect....

girI 20

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:44

At least you guys have good communication? I mean, this way you can get better, with feedback, although it might seem a bit soul crushing at first...

weveallbeenthere 30

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:45

learn to make it enjoyable for her and maybe she will get a don't stop sign.

tj4234 35

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:48

Your girlfriend is amazing, this is probably the most amusing thing I have read all day.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:52

Yoir girlfriend thought right. That said, if you such at sex (and apparently you do), now would be a good time to ask her what you're doing wrong, what you're doing right, and what you can do to make it better (for both of you). Once you get some tips, she'll probably hold up some different signs. Like "ENTER".

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 20 June 2014 0:51

Deer crossing?

cakefete2 30

Friday 20 June 2014 1:37

Yield to incoming train?

martin8337 35

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:59

That's messed up.

ill_Will95 9

Thursday 19 June 2014 23:00

If its that bad, she may leave bro.

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